I Have a Hammer and a Veggie Pizza

I had too much sleep last night. When this happens my mind wakes me up with a nightmare. Today's nightmare involved my former mother-in-law who died a year and a half ago.  In the dream her only son, (husband #2) is crying on her bossism.  She tells him not to worry, that she will take him to purgatory to get a new wife. "That's where I got Shannon!" he cries. When they realize I am in the room my deceased, former mother-in-law shouts, "go back to purgatory you vial creature!" then adds, "and while you're there learn how to spell!"

Here in Glenville, Connecticut (also known as the Gateway to New England) autumn is in full bloom. I imagine how lovely it would be if only we had an ordinance against campaign signage. Have you ever voted for a candidate based on a sign you saw on someones front lawn? Well... I am about to. I'm going to vote for Stephen NG for Town Clerk because he doesn't have a vowel in his last name.

(crossing the road to take this picture I slipped on a dead squirrel)

With autumn leafs falling I am reminded...

Can we please make leaf blowing illegal. Nothing annoys me more. Maybe Mr. NG will know someone, who knows someone, who can make that happen. Or, is there someone out there that can invent one that isn't deafening?  And while you're at it, how about inventing a sprinkler system with a built in barometer so you don't water the grass while its raining. 

I spent 3 1/2 hours today uploading, installing and activating the new iOS software for my iphone. Not only did this make my phone slower, but it uploaded archived emails from 4 of my email addresses and marked them as new. The envelope icon says I have 596 unread messages but when I delete a bunch, I get a bunch more. (UPDATE... I now have 24,697 unread messages to clear) And worse, I can't activate my CLOUD. I was never interested in the CLOUD until now - now that I can't activate it.

A new gym opened near my office. It's for women only. The personal trainers are men only.  Its a small space, with two large windows in the front. In the windows are the treadmills. Directly across the street is a three story office building with 429 male employees. The chance of me "working out" here is ZERO.  I'd feel like a puppy in a pet store.

 
A few doors down from the gym is a new restaurant called DOPPIO.  I'm sorry but thats a stupid name and I'm not going in there either.

I grabbed takeout Chinese food for lunch today.  My soup was cold, my chicken was dry, and my fortune cookie read...

(update)

BITCH OVER

Thanks to JELLY!  

what a great share...

NEVER mind...
The BITCH is BACK

Thursdays is pizza night.
I order my usual - a whole wheat salad pizza (guiltless pizza)
"no olives" I remind her
"there are no olives on the veggie pizza" she tells me
I bit my tongue... decided not to remind her that 3 weeks ago I got olives on my pizza.
35 minutes later the pizza arrives at our front door.
It's a veggie pizza
nothing but onions, mushrooms, EGGPLANT (gag), and peppers.

I ordered a salad pizza, she heard veggie pizza.
When she repeated my order back to me, I was so focused on "no olives"
that I didn't hear her say veggie.



10:33 pm UPDATE
'cause I'm drinkin'...
meet the man with no vowels

 "NG cries FOUL!"  (oh the scandal!)