Fairmont State University - Fairmont, West Virginia
Today is Easter. To me, holidays have always been about my father. Because I did not grow up living with my father, holidays (especially Easter) gave us a chance to play together.
As a child, this was our time to ski or run together. As an adult, this was our time to share a day, a meal, a drink, a laugh.
I deliberately aligned myself with my father. I shadowed him. I shared my highs and lows with him. And in the end, I carried him.
In his own way, my father proved to me, that I was loved. In return, that told me that I was worthy of love.
Today, on the first holiday since his passing, I am at Fairmont State University - his old college stomping grounds.
I am crying because I miss him. I am crying harder because I wish I took the trip while he was still with us.
I want to walk beside him. I want him to show me where he studied, where he ate, where he slept, where he played.
I love you Dad.
Happy Easter everyone. Happy Easter...
Easter 2011
I've walked in your shoes, shed your tears. It's soooo hard. This takes a lot of time to smooth out. Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter to you too.
ReplyDeleteI miss my Dad at random times for no reason at all, but certain holidays are harder, I think. For a while I wrote letters to him I'd never send. I don't do that anymore but I still sometimes talk to him like he might be listening. Sometimes I hope he is.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter, SK!!!!
ReplyDeletexooooxooo
MG
Shannon, Happy Easter my friend!
ReplyDeleteWander
You are very lucky you had such a wonderful father.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have fun and enjoy and have a good time thinking of your good times with him!
Hugs & love to you.
I felt that way when my Grandmother passed. We visited Washington DC shortly after and I longed to know all the places she went, the memories she had. (She grew up on Penn. Ave) My mother occasionally goes down to check on my great aunt, I hope to go with her next time so I can see DC through my grandmother's baby sister's eyes before it is too late as well.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter to you......Hope you are healing in body and spirit.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I had my lumpectomy on Wednesday and im still soo tired. Did the anesthesia wipe you out too? Im even embarassed to ask since your surgery was so much more extensive than mine..
--1osugrl
Karen
I can sure relate to your missing your father. I now miss my mother too.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a Happy Easter.
This is so heartfelt. It's obvious how much you loved him. I have hungered for this kind of connection to my parents. Blessings Shannon.
ReplyDeleteThe love you have for your father surrounds you and even through the pain I know you feel him beside you.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have with your Dad is very special Shannon. Not everyone has it. And the picture is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying my best to prepare for a similar journey my friend, beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteJules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
This was a great tribute to your dad, Shannon!
ReplyDelete