Cat on Keyboard

I've been gone a long time. And I've got a basket full of excuses. Ready? 

First I was healing from surgery number five. This time my skilled surgeon, Dr. Sandra Margoles, created an internal sling made from cadaver skin and anchored my noobs (scientific term for new boobs) symmetrically.

It was a painful and prolonged recovery process, due to an extensive amount of suturing, but hell, I'm worth it. I am now the proud owner of two, evenly placed, implants with just the right amount of droop.

My next surgery will be sometime in December. This time I'll be getting flame resistant nipples!

I wasn't sure if I wanted nipples in the beginning. Instead, I was considering imbedded jewels. But jewels are made for ooo-ing and awww-ing, not suckling and fondling, and eventually I nuzzled up to my husbands need to feed.

Four weeks post surgery, I was back in New Orleans for 8 crazy music fueled days and nights. This time I was with my kindergarten comrade, Monkey Gurl, my daughter, Ling, and her platonic playmate Pistopher.

Damn we had a good time! There is nothing like Halloween in New Orleans. Wait... yes there is. It's called Burning Man.

While we were there, hurricane Sandy hit home. I returned to mass destruction coupled with a northeastern storm that force fed us our first taste of winter.

At the tail end of all this was the election and I was worried. Worried peoples disdain would overshadow the goodness and truth of a man I respect.

But once again hope prevailed and the beauty of a democracy, lead by integrity, carried on.

In the afterglow of the election, I resurrected an affair with Stephen King.

11/22/63, what a story! What a storyteller! Prolific writers scare the cat out of me - painting scenes with such depth and clarity that I'm convinced I can't write my way out of a paper bag. 

Not only did I fall into a pit of severe writers block, after a night of mayhem at a club called "JHouse" with friends Jay and Mouse, I mimicked Stephen King drama from pages 327 and 589 and serpentined my way through a thick wall of hedges, unaware of what lurked on the other side.

To my surprise, I stumbled upon a slippery slope and tumbled five feet. 

I hurt my knee, my foot, a few knuckles, and my face. Luckily I was liquor-limber enough not to break anything.

With husband away, my devoted daughter was by my side. She cleaned my wounds, instructed me to rinse the gravel from my mouth, fed me macaroni and cheese, and tucked me into bed.

It was a three day hangover and with it came the following lessons learned:

1. Never mix Jay and Mouse with JHouse.

2. Never mix tequila, vodka, and wine on an empty stomach.

3. Never act out mysteries from a Stephen King novel.

Priorities then kept the cat, belly up, on the keyboard.

Between work, healing, and play, I have been appointed the executrix of my fathers estate and with that comes the task of finalizing his affairs. I've never been motivated by money and had little knowledge of my fathers net worth, so this endeavor has been daunting and educational.

Mainly, it illuminates peoples true colors. I think this was my fathers main reasoning behind appointing me. He knew I had to see the full force of envy and greed so that it had a lasting effect on me.

My father never spoke a negative word about anyone related to me. Instead, he allowed their actions to show me.

What a year it's been! I have a books worth of material just in the events that unfolded in 2012 and I have yet to tap into December.

As much as I've lost, I can clearly see what was found. From pain and grief came growth and gratitude.

And most important, LOVE.

xoMonkeyME

COMING SOON... 

The second and third tale of uncomfortable comedy.