TRUE GIFTS

Every negative experience is an opportunity for growth.  This is something I repeat to myself often.  It has lifted me out of many dark holes, when I'm weighted in, "Why is this happening to me?"

Yesterday, I was blindsided by a heavy blow of betrayal.  I will save the sticky details for my best selling novel (how else will I coerce you into reading it) but if you're extra curious, I will tell you that Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum had absolutely nothing to do with it.

The way I consciously chose to handle it, created an immediate positive reaction.  Once I let go of the negativity, opting not to give it any energy, I felt an intense gush of freedom.

It helped that I started my day with a dose of His Holiness, the Dalai Lama.

Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring more energy, confidence and determination.  And while it is true that anger brings extra energy, it eclipses the best part of our brain:  its rationality.  So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable.  It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior.  

After reading and sitting with the Dalai Lama's message, I clicked on my son's memorial website and discovered a letter from one of his former classmates.  She has given me permission to share it with you.

I met Kerry in Central Middle School.  I didn't have the privilege of knowing him but I can proudly say he was my first crush.  I was so young and did not know what love was.  We used to take the same bus which took us to Greenwich Ave so I would see him pretty much everyday.  He was always with Curtis, his best friend. The funny thing was that one of my girlfriends had a crush on his friend.  Every time we would be around them we would get so nervous.  They were the cool kids and we were just some weird girls that would not stop staring.  One day I got the courage to write him a little note and tell him what I felt for him.  I gave it to someone that knew him and waited for him to say something to me.  I didn't expect much since I knew deep down that I was not his type.  I don't know if he ever received it or even read it.

After Middle School, we both attended the same High School, GHS.  I didn't see him much but whenever I did see him, he brought a smile to my face because I always remembered him as my first crush.  He was so handsome still.  His smile...his eyes...they brought all my attention to him.  

I think the last time I saw him was on Greenwich Avenue.  I was walking near the park and he walked right by me.  It took me by surprise since I had not seen him for a long time.  Again, I smiled.  I have a picture of him that I stole from Central Middle School.  I saw it on a bulletin board and loved it so I just took it.  For some reason I looked him up today and I had no idea what happened to him.  It brought a lot of tears but I know he's an angel that is watching over us, especially his loved ones.  

                                                                                                                     - Heidy Johanna Mutis

Photo of my son, Kerry Ryan Magann, that I never saw before.

A memory is the greatest gift you can give me with regard to my son.  Knowing he is remembered fondly, brings me enormous comfort. 

I arrived at work just in time for lunch (I write from home in the mornings - brilliant plan, don't you think). 

In celebration of a crisp, clear, autumn day, Miss Pegged (coworker and cohort in play) and I left the car keys behind and mindfully meandered our way to the bank and then to a small restaurant on Greenwich Avenue.  

As soon as we crossed the first intersection, I noticed the sidewalk had been graffitied with large SMILING faces.  One after the other, all the way down the street, leading directly to the bank.

I don't know who drew them, but I know they are for ME!

After the bank and a relaxing lunch, we ran into my friend Jay.  I tell you, recently, it's Jay every day!

Jay and I both attending a writing workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York this past weekend titled, Memoir a Buddhist Practice, taught by James Kullander and Rikki Asher.  He is also one of my trapeze buddies (I love saying that).

Being at Omega is refreshing.  Rural simplicity, bursting with beauty and seeded in like minds - minds focused on expansion, goodness and wellness.

Jay and I have been running into each other a lot lately, and I know why.  We are on the same path.  Jay too sees his obstacles as opportunities for growth.  Jay's journey will be chronicled in his best selling novel (to be completed on May 17, 2011), so I can't give you any details, but trust me...Jay's got it going on!

The people I have attracted into my life are AMAZING gifts.  Starting with my husband and streaming down into my core circle - my true family, my camp-mates, my coworkers, and my extended family.  Friends from far and near - in real time and in blogger format, all of them compassionate, earnest, and forthright.

 Green Monkey, Jesse, Piko, Jelly 

Pappy, War Bunny, Bull Bunny, Dust Bunny, Pinky, Ian, Tiger, Chad 

Alan, Wally 

If you are reading this, that includes YOU.  You have nurtured my creativity.  You have encouraged me to be myself, to trust myself, and to honor myself.  Please know that I appreciate your open heart, your genuineness, your kindness and most of all, your unconditional love and friendship.

Namaste

Aspiring Best Selling Authors:  Stephanie Thompson, Ami Bhalodkar, Shannon E. Kennedy, Mary Ann Donahue, Mary T. Keane, Carol Wolff, Jay Chalnick, Cassie Eshelman, and Kathy Robinson 

With brilliant instruction by literary geniuses, James Kullander and Rikki Asher

James Kullander, MDiv, is a program curriculum developer at Omega and a writer.  His acclaimed essay "My Marital Status," originally published in The Sun magazine, has been anthologized in The Best Buddhist Writing 2008 and the Mysterious Life of the Heart.  jameskullander.com 

Rikki Asher, EdD, has practiced Chan (Zen) meditation since 1979 and teaches meditation at the Dharma Drum Mountain Retreat Center in Pine Bush, New York.  As director of art education at Queens College in New York City, she uses writing, visual awareness and meditation, as part of her curriculum with college students.  cultd.net/rikkiasher 

For more information on the Omega Institute visit:  eomega.org

"AWAKEN THE BEST IN THE HUMAN SPIRIT"



Green Monkey Tales © 2010 Shannon E. Kennedy 


Dalai Lama and Heart Energy photo courtesy of Google image