Welcome to Loserville

I didn't win.

I didn't receive the recognition I so badly wanted.

I didn't feel the pat on the back.  I didn't hear the praise.

I didn't even receive a "thank you for entering" auto-response email.

No, first, second, third or fourth place, and WORSE, no HONORARY MENTION.

What if they didn't receive my 700 words or less "Past Love Story Contest" entry?

I can't even force myself to read the stories that did win.  All I can read are the authors names.   (lucky bastards)

I'm not clever.  I'm not compelling.  I'm not smart.  I'm not witty.

This is the sort of thing that will prevent me from writing.  I'll feel sorry for myself.  I'll second guess myself.  I'll punish myself.

Yes, yes, yes...I realize how pathetic I sound.   But since YOU take the time to read me, I wanted YOU to know just how messed up my inner me can be.

Yesterday, my husband and I played tennis with my 9 year old grandson.

We were on the court for a less than 15 minutes when he wanted to quit.
In his eyes, we were "awesome" and he was a "loser."

I forced him to play for a bit longer and then gave him the job of ball boy.

I made some good shots but overall, I was pretty sucky.  To me, it didn't matter.  To me, playing tennis with my family, on a beautiful fall morning, was all that mattered.

Afterwards, I spoke to my grandson about perseverance, pride and purpose.  I explained that his achievements will be the result of continuous effort and if he believed in himself, he would prevail.

He smiled and nodding his head in all the right places.  Was he listening?  Was I listening?

All setbacks are opportunities for growth.  When you consider a problem, or an obstacle, a burden, you avoid it, but when you look at it as a challenge, you face it. 

Big steps consist of many tiny steps, and the first step should begin from your heart.  From then on, each move forward increases your self confidence, and your inner awareness.

You recognize efforts rooted in love right away.  They are pure and honest and good.  They are given freely, without expectations.

So ...instead of keeping the curtains closed, and eating nacho's and oreo's for breakfast, I think I'll take my sweet little dog for a walk - soak in the beauty of the day - then settle down and write.

***

TWIRL

It's a less talk, more MONKEY kind of day! 

TWIRL

March Fourth

Since Jesse, my BMBF (Burning Man Best Friend) handed me his staff, dipped in white gas, and ignited it - I've been fixated on FIRE.

I hadn't held a baton since 1976 and here I was, in the middle of the desert, twirling fire...TOPLESS!

I elected to bare all after my wise husband expressed his concerns about the flammable components of my Burn night attire.  

note to self:  FLUFF and FIRE don't mix

Had it not been for the support of my husband and my campmates, all of whom wrapped me in a double layer of love and respect, I would not have found the courage.  

I am, after all, a 51 year old grandmother, who breast fed 2 children and has NOT had breast reconstruction of any kind (not that I haven't considered it).   

It was ohhhhh sooooo exciting and I refuse to let that feeling go.  So, I'm practicing with a passion and a goal - to find my way on stage on Halloween weekend, when March Fourth Marching Band plays at the VooDoo festival in New Orleans.

March Fourth is a commanding circus troupe of funky, BIG band jazz musicians and whimsically clad, logic defying, performance artists.

Jesse knows some of the major players in March Fourth, and they have been alerted to the fact that I will be in attendance, but its up to ME to catch their eye.  

I'll need to find a hip, nonflammable band outfit...QUICK!  The fun has already begun...  

So if anything catches YOUR eye on Etsy, Ebay, or anywhere in-between, please let me know.  I've been sifting my way through consignment, vintage and costume shops, hoping to find an old majorette uniform.  Something with plumage and epaulets, something on the lines of my high school majorette uniform.   

Thats me, in the front row (annoyed with my hair), sitting beside the infamous and ever beautiful, Ruth Brace - the original "Samantha" from Sex and the City.

She taught me everything I know - about sex, drugs, twirling and rock and roll.  About how NOT to get caught smoke a butt in the senior lav, or, for that matter, how not to get caught doing anything a good little catholic, country girl shouldn't do, but ultimately, did.

Here is a taste of March Fourth Marching Band.

Enjoy!

For more information on March Fourth Marching Band go to: 

www.marchfourthmarchingband.com


You can find March Fourth tracks on itunes @

http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/marchfourth-marching-band/id269131557

or, buy March Fourth cd's @

http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/MarchFourthMarchingBand

EXODUS

One by one, we wave goodbye to a radiant beam of playmates and bake in their void.

We wait for an echo but it never comes.

No one wants to go, even though most of us could not survive another round of fire.  We played hard. We laughed more then we slept.  We soaked in every minute, every beat of the playa.

Dehydrated and baste to perfection, for 3 hours we hold our place in 5 lanes of exodus.

We listen to Black Rock radio, massage our aching muscles, recount our wounds and smile.

We relish the ruckus, the romp, the sustainable fusion and the magnitude of art we had the privilege of interacting with.

We feel glued to the people we camped with, stood in line with, and danced with.

From nowhere a man, holding his young child, approaches our car and asks if we would like some coffee.

He is not selling coffee, he is offering us HIS coffee.  He wants to make certain that we, perfect strangers, remain alert on our long journey home.

He offers us something strong.  Something to look back on...

KINDNESS

A white cargo van inches its way up the right lane.

The driver rolls down his window and out POP 2 sets of adoring eyes.  Slick auburn hair, wide grins and long, sculpted noses - this team of miniature pinchers are begging to be noticed.

I bolt out of my seat and greet them with gusto.  Since pets are NOT permitted on the playa, this is a HUGE treat!

I welcome their licks and their sniffs.  I tickle their belly, rub the base of their tail and scratch that extra sweet spot just behind their ears.

I miss my dogs.  I miss the simple joy they bring. I am reminded of the love, loyalty and devotion they so freely give.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the driver offers us a klondike bar.  A cold, refreshing, milky sweet treat!  Ice cream to top off a weeks worth of yummy good decadence.

A sparsely clad girl, with long, wind whipped hair, approaches our car and asks if we would like a black rock from the black rock desert. I silently wonder if this is ALLOWED, then quickly snatch the golf ball sized stone.

In this time of exodus, these gifts are more valuable then any gem.

A treasure map of pleasures, seared into our soul, proves that it was real.

When it is our turn to hit the pavement, we look both ways, then back again.

Our shadow grows tall, as the sun sets west.  We will be back.

If you paint it in broad strokes... it is physically and emotionally exhausting.  It is remorselessly cruel and challenging.  It is brutal.

But if you step closer... you'll see it is invigorating, validating, profoundly stimulating, fiercely delightful, fun.   

The creativity that fuels this city churns 365 days a year. 

It is dictated by the transcendental importance of our soul.

It is encapsulated in the hearts of those longing to be heard, to be seen, to be true, and to be one.

This is Burning Man.

photo's by Green Monkey

Green Monkey Tales © 2010 Shannon E. Kennedy

Here is a fun Burning Man 2010 video guaranteed to make you smile.

Great Job KJ and Stefan! 

Why I Do What I Do

Behind the scenes at WDYDWYD? - Burning Man 2010

Green Monkey on duty - photo by Shawn Mac

I am BACK

and I've missed you!

I've missed reading you.

I've missed the exchange of ideas and emotions that flow so freely here.

I've missed your truth, your talent, and your humor.

I have yet to unpack, or digest all that I experienced during my absence.

Instead, I've been uploading and tweaking over 1,600 photo's taken during my week at Burning Man.

About 50 or so of those were part of a collaborative art project called Why Do You Do What You Do?

I was a contributing photographer and also a "conversationalist" - encouraging people to share their answer to Why They Do What They Do.

A strong pulse of creativity flowed from their conviction to the lens.

Here are some of my favorites....

because ART is Life

Because when I stop learning I start dying, and Burning Man forces me to learn.

...Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time

To Experience The Self Hare Krsna Hare Rama

Because My Heart tells me to!

It's My Duty

To Leave Things A Lot Better Than I Found Them.  Or Break Them A Little Bit. 

Because I Believe in a Heaven on Earth Paradise Journey Harmony 2020

Because My Heart Tells Me To Be A Part Of The Change I Wanna See

To Find

Because My Life is a Story and I am its Author

My Life Deserves Glitter 

Because it's Fun

Life is Not a Penis.  It's Always HARD

Because it puts the heartbeat in my dance

We are a diverse bunch, wouldn't you say!  We came from all walks of life... each with a message that begged to be heard.


I too had my turn at answering Why I Do What I Do?

photo by Terri Irving Haber

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in where nature may heal  and cheer and give strength to the body and soul. — John Muir

This will likely be my last post before heading into the wild, wild west.

Promise me you'll miss me when I'm gone and that you'll read me (again) when I return.

Trying to explain what Burning Man is and why I go to Burning Man is, well... complicated.  

Each year I walk away from the experience mentally and physically exhausted but knowing that I took part in something BIG. 

There is a deep level of personal growth that takes place here - sometimes its hard and sometimes its joyful beyond words.  

The human connections are deep and sincere.  People give freely of themselves.  

I'd go if for no other reason then to photograph the art and the people.  Both, are amazing!

Exactly how many people does it take to build a temporary city in the middle of a barren, wasteland?  50,000  

And we each play a vital role in making this city thrive!  

Simply put, it's radical self reliance... 

and radical self expression...

rolled into one.

It doesn't always make sense...

but, damn it's fun!

This year I am taking part in a project called WDYDWYD? - A worldwide comminity-art project that combines image and text when asking the simple question "why do YOU do what you do?"  I'll be taking pictures and acting as a "conversationalist" - trying to get people to reach down deep and pull up something real, raw, and true to themselves. 

by Renee Benes | graphic design & mother

I will also be taking part in Live Brush Strokes, a living design collaborative painting using GPS technology, people and data visualization software.  I will be one of many who will be wearing a GPS tracking device during Burning Man that will track my movement and translate it into a visual narrative.  How cool is THAT!

(first test drive)

One of my favorite things to do at Burning Man is something called Monkey Chant. MOnkey Chant is an amazing kinesthetic meditation where movement and overlapping vocalizations come together.   It's energizing and entertaining.

Monkey Chant at Center Camp photo by Gabe Kirchheimer

Each year at Burning Man a Temple is constructed so that people have a place to reflect and honor those they have lost.  This years Temple is called Temple of Flux.   My gift to the Temple is a collection of letters, pictures, poems and names submitted by people who have lost someone they love to suicide.  My project is called Love Letters to the Temple.  This will be my 6th year compiling the book.

This year a talented artist and Burner, Frederick Jay (aka Jaybird) has dedicated one of his amazing Temple flowers to my son Kerry.   Thank you Jaybird!  

I will be spending the next week sewing, packing and fine tuning all the projects and preparation necessary to make this amazing journey inward, outward, upward and beyond!  

Until next time....  Monkey Love and Laughter,  Shannon

The original Green Monkey tagged with a red heart - Temple of Honor - Burning Man 2003
Someday I hope to meet the person who placed the monkey inside the temple and sparked the beginning of my healing.
  

AMAZING photo's by Phil Steele at BurningMonkey.com
Gabe Kirchheimer at Gabekphoto.com
and Monkey ME