Because the idea of a book still feels so overwhelming to me, I decided to try and focus on getting my short story, Green Monkey, tweaked and published.
My morning goal was to forward it to my editor but when I realized I didn't have the original version on my macbook, I did a google search for it. I knew it was out there somewhere so I entered "green monkey, burning man, shannon kennedy" into the search and pressed enter.
The first result was my Burning Man version of Green Monkey but this version does not include any background history on the event itself. The second result was my Green Monkey Tales version, titled "Why Green Monkey" but this is also not the complete story.
I revised my search by simply entering "shannon kennedy" and quickly realized there are SEVERAL of us.
The first Shannon Kennedy listed was the Jazz musician, Shannon Kennedy - "a multi-faceted artist, composer, producer, performer, recording artist and music instructor." I knew about her. She's attractive and talented but I don't like the way she holds her saxophone.
The second search result showed Shannon Kennedy the visual artist. I've heard about her too.
Hey, its shades of blue streaked across a canvas, how hard can it be?
The third search result was ME!
ME, in all my glory.
ME, a self proclaimed "bossy, complicated, bla, bla, bla,... free spirited adventurist."
Me, according to my google profile. It sounds/reads ridiculous. A rewrite is way over due.
Oh how I wish I stopped here but being sightly OCD, I revised my search yet again. This time entering "shannon kennedy writer"
I was not prepared for what I found.
First I, Shannon Kennedy the Writer, am nowhere to be found!
Worse, I've been overshadowed by Shannon Kennedy Writers. These Shannon Kennedy's are not procrastinating, easily distracted, overwhelmed, want-to-be writers. These Shannon Kennedy's are published authors. These Shannon Kennedy's are putting it out there, living their dreams. These Shannon Kennedy's aren't just talking about it - they're doing it!
The first Shannon Kennedy writes realistic and paranormal young adult fiction. (why didn't I think of that!) She's published two books titled Daddy, Please Tell Me Whats Wrong and There's No Cure.
You can read more about this Shannon Kennedy here:
The second "Shannon Kennedy writer" is a romance novelist.
I love romance! Besides, I once pretended to be a romance novelist (yet another twisted tale that I have yet to write about).
This Shannon Kennedy lives with her mother, Colleen Kennedy.
My sisters name is Colleen Kennedy. She's my (much) older sister and I guess you can say that once upon a time she was motherly but no way in HELL would I ever live with my sister or my mother.
And... (how BIZARRE is this)... every story this Shannon Kennedy writes about has one common element...
She loves horses.
Well, I've loved horses ever since I was a little girl. I wrote about it once. Perhaps you read about my love of pony on my blog. It's included in a post I call "The Animals"
How is it that these Shannon Kennedy's are doing it and I'm only talking about doing it? What is my problem? Why can't I get out of my own way. Why can't I stop over thinking it and just do it.
It's true... I have self doubt. I struggle with insecurity and I am a perpetual procrastinator. BUT... I have a secret weapon. One slightly off kilter quality that will motivate me.
I'M A FIERCE COMPETITOR!
I will write and submit, and write and submit, until I turn up in a "Shannon Kennedy writer" google search.
Look out Shannon Kennedy's, here I come!
After I calmed myself down, I read the article below and realized that the two Shannon Kennedy's are one and the same.
The good news is... less competition.
The bad news is... her first book was published 20 years ago!
I've got a lot of catching up to do.