BIG NEWS, I am now the proud owner of a "sleek & smart" Bioelectrical Impedance Analysis scale.
It teased me on "sleek," had me on "smart," and confused me on "Bioelectrical." In celebration of this purchase I'm eating leftover Easter Ham, in bed, with a
Isn't it pretty! Seriously streamline and ... dare I say, SEXY!!!
According to the directions, (not that I read directions and besides, who doesn't know how to step on a scale?) it says it sends "harmless, unnoticeable electrical current through your body to measure body fat percentage and body water percentage in addition to body weight."
Really? no, seriously, REALLY??? How does it do this and how is that NOT harmful to, if nothing else, your aura?
If thats not enough, it claims to have a sturdy base, and to display its findings in a kind format. WHAT do you think THAT means? Is it some sort of digitized fantasy, "Good news... none of those Oreo cookies count, you look fabulous! Have a nice day"
It also promises to remember and track the progress of 10 users! Imagine THAT party! Invite 10 of your closest friends over to weight themselves, before and then after indulging in a barrel of fun, food and spirits.
In reality, this is a classic example of lack of communication between Mr. and Mrs Cooked (aka husband and monkey me). I recently vowed (out loud in shower, after husband left for work) that I am done weighing in. That I would exercise regularly and measure my progress only by how good I feel about myself.
And DAMN IT, I feel good about me! Now that spring has sprung, I'm running/walking regularly at the track behind the old high school - 5 days a week, after dropping husband off at the train.
It's a bitter sweet place. It encases the old high school football field, the same field my father spent his glory days on and has requested his ashes be spread on. It envelopes the Junior Babe Ruth baseball field, the same field my son Kerry played his best baseball days on. Its lush greens were host to the pea wee soccer games that my daughter Lindsay and my grandson Jackson took part in.
It's also where I met Jay, aka Boris. Our paths crossed while walking our dogs early one morning. Jay was new to the neighborhood and I was enthusiastic about socializing my shitzu.
It wasn't an immediate click. For one, Phoebe (Jay's super sweet golden retriever) was disinterested in my 5 pound pup and I didn't know what to make of this gregarious, much younger, stately man.
Our friendship is unlikely, depending on how you look at it. Yes, big age and height difference, but everything else is clearly, copacetic.
My joy quota is magnified by the friendships I attract. Loving, nurturing, honest, uplifting, invigorating, relationships that surround, support and uplift me - bloggers, burners, soul sisters, former classmates, coworkers and my number one fan, Mr. Cooked.
In the fall of 2011, I attended a writing workshop with Jay and listened to him proclaim his souls desire ... to complete his first, best selling, novel. He gave it a date, May 17th 2011. His target is in clear view and I am in awe of his tenacity and perseverance.
Jay has inspired me to do the same.
I have hired an editor, recommended by writer, humorist & bliss follower Becky. I need assignments, deadlines, outlines and direction. I am dedicating my mornings to writing my best selling memoir. I'm working this in, after dropping husband at train, running at track, and before heading into the office.
Something has to give. It might very well be my blogging - unless I adapt to blogging (instead of facebooking and drinking) at night.
I promise not to waste any time on the high tech scale.
To those of you I hold close, requited supporter of my souls desire, thank you for heightening the joy quotient in my life.