Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Domino Effect of Giving

“I get along well with those who know tragedy, and grow from it.  It expands a persons view.  While most see the straight growth of the stem, we understand the struggle of the roots and the triumph of the flowers."      Jesse Fowler

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Yesterday, I had an early morning eye exam. It was snowing, hailing, and sleeting. I was 12 minutes late (I am often late). The receptionist greeted me like a mother would greet a spoiled teenager who missed her curfew.

“YOU’RE LATE!” she scolded.
“I am aware of THAT!” I replied.

In the spirit of a defiant, unruly adolescent, I explained that my delay was due to inclement weather (not true). She then handed me my punishment. I was told that I would have to wait for AWHILE, and that next time I should call if I know I am going to be late.

I was totally annoyed. I thought about leaning across the counter and slapping her - instead, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was about her, not me, and I didn’t have to react to it.

"Best if I reschedule," I told her, "I call you when the weather warms up," (translation - when hell freezes over).  I’m down to 3 days worth of disposable contact, so it wasn’t the best move on my part.

Regardless of what I told myself, I was clearly aggravated. I drove to the drugstore and picked up some contact solution. While waiting in the check-out line, I overheard the man next to me ask the cashier for directions to the bus stop. Without eye contact, she brusquely answered, “I don’t know.”

As he walked out the door, I noticed he was carrying a plastic Greenwich Hospital bag - a clear sign that he had just been discharged.  I thought about offering him a ride, after all, it was snowing, hailing and sleeting - but he was a man, and he was wearing a hood, and he looked sort of creepy (not really).  What if he was a mental patient or, what if he was a recovering drug addict?  What if her robbed me, or killed me, or worse - snatched my sweet little shihtzu, Lucy that patiently waited in the car?

I watched him walk out the front door, and I exited through the back.  I sat in my car, took a deep breath and asked myself, out loud, “What Do I Do?” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I remembered a recent request I made in a blog posts...

Please take the time to reach out to those who may be suffering. To listen, validate, comfort, and be present with them. Allow them to be vulnerable, honest, and awake; and engage them with hope.

I turned the corner just as he was heading down the Avenue. I pulled over and asked him if he’d like a lift. I explained to him that I had been standing in line next to him, and I apologized for not offering him a ride immediately.  He hesitated, just for a moment, before accepting my offer.

Lucy greeting him warmly and he smiled at the sight of a 5 lbs dog wearing fur.

Neither of us knew where the bus stop was so, instead, I took him to the train. We sat outside the station and I listened as he explained that he had been in dialysis all week and that his younger sister has been going through dialysis for 7 years now, and how difficult it all was.  He told me his legs felt very weak and how grateful he was for the ride. When he was done talking, he thanked me and went on his way, this time with a smile.

When I told this story to a dear friend, she commented,  “It’s the domino effect.  What would the poor man had done if you didn’t miss your eye appointment.”

Yes, its the domino effect. The Domino Effect of Giving - a linked sequence of events that are rooted in emotion, and grow from the heart.


Green Monkey Tales © 2010 Shannon E. Kennedy
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35 comments:

  1. I'm proud of you, Shannon.....

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  2. Thank you Anonymous! :) My father always taught me not to boast about good deeds, so my instinct was not to write about the experience. But then I thought about the domino effect of telling the story :)

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  3. But don't forget to make the appointment again!

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  4. Makes me want to help someone in some little way, today.

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  5. Jennifer Johnson I love it, I relate to fear with strangers. I am always happy when I push past my own fears. I want to write something fairly opposite that I have been going through, my story is an old classic called "misery loves company." Thanks for the reminder to be kind.

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  6. I'm glad you wrote this. Don't over edit. Modesty is not a trait for writers ;) or anyone that wants to express theirself. Of course, this is from a person who has been told that his life's challenge is his Elevated opinion of himself...
    My experience is that the people that I expect to be good in situations are generally not, and vise-versa. I'm glad you took the chance, and helped that man. I'm proud of you, but also hope you have mace on your keychain.
    The "pay ot forward" effect multiplies itself, instead of "just passing it on". I know I'm more likely to help 3 or more people for every person who helps me.

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  7. Self promotion is not flattering.

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  8. I disagree but thank you for commenting (and reading!)

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  9. The world would be a better place if we all chose humility and compassion over fear and selfishness.
    Nice job, Shannon! I love how your choice in this experience lightened your heart. xoxo

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  10. Beautiful post! Love that you were able to extend kindness after being treated so poorly. Thanks for writing this--it made my day!

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  11. wow...thank you Bossy Betty !!!(oh, by the way, my mothers name is Joan Betty - and she can be pretty bossy... you're not my mother incognito are you???)

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  12. thank you eyefleye - this coming from the queen of goodness is a real complement!

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  13. keep up the writing shannon, and more often, ok?? mary

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  14. Charity is inherent and is not something you should boast about. Why do you find this necessary?

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  15. I don't see it that way. I see it as promoting giving/gifting - not necessarily a $$ amount but from the heart. I also posted a video that also speaks to the Domino Effect of Giving. Sure I wrote it, and I am promoting my writing, I'll give you that. But how else do you get read? Hey, thank you for reading and commenting :)

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  16. Thanks Mary - I know, I got sooo stuck. I was over thinking and self doubting. I'm going to try and focus on things that generate emotion in me - good, or bad. And not worry about it being profound or perfect or politically correct.

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  17. thanks for sharing...you never know the burden someone may be carrying and that small act of kindness made a difference in his day.
    2 hours ago ·

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  18. Shannon, I think the Anonymous (who is not a fan of this post) might just be the receptionist at your eye doctor's office! I didn't find your blog post self-promoting (though it kind of should be in blog format!) or boasting in the least. You simply share an experience with others who--for the most part--appreciate it.

    You're kick-ass, Shannon! Just stop leaving Lucy all by her lonesome. Ha! -JC

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  19. well, if "JC" says it wasn't a bad thing to post about, then I think I'm in the clear!

    and yes, it was a very "SMALL" act of kindness. Its not like I gave him the car!

    oh, and I'd take miss Lucy in to CVS but there is this OBNOXIOUS sign that says "no pets allowed" (crazy)

    Thanks again for commenting!

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  20. Obviously you think your time is worth more than anyone elses. You admitted you are always late. You disrespected the time of the optometrist and then YOU get annoyed?

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  21. ah, so true, so true....

    To prove just how annoying I can be, I've posted something new.

    Wonder if you'll get your panties in a twist over this!

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  22. Well, in response to Anonymous (you know the one I mean)...I think Shannon showed us that her time is in fact NOT more important than anyone else's, that she will take time away from the rest of her day to help someone in need. I found it to be an inspiring post, reminding me that it's always important to keep our heart open to those around us. Thanks, Shannon, for reminding me! And I especially appreciated your honesty about the conflict you felt at first about helping the man.

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  23. Thank you Melissa. My goal when writing this was to be honest. I admitted that I am flawed - I am late, I lied about being late and even that I would reschedule, and..the hardest part was I admitted that I judged. I'm not proud of that, but it was my honest reaction. I'm not saying I'm wonderful or perfect or proud...I'm just sayin'

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  24. That really is great. Thou i dont know that i'd give someone a ride here in the city...
    So what happened with the b$%^ at the eye dr.'s and ur contacts? You should sell their # to an advertizing company so that she has to deal with them alll the time, lol!! :))

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  25. Thank you Jennifer for reading and commenting!

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  26. Giving is receiving. You did not boast - you told a story that reminds us to be kind to others.
    There truly is a domino effect & the telling of it is part of that.
    You inspired us & I am grateful.
    I suggest that negative anonymous has an agenda and is possibly jealous. I'm sure someone comes to mind who is unkind.
    I suggest anonymous sign your name.
    Don't say it if you aren't willing to own up to it!!
    Love you Shannon, Mairead

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  27. Thank you dear soul sister. I am so lucky to have you on my side! xoxo

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  28. What a good way of looking at things. I do that too if a perceived "inconvenience" happens, I try to see what God has planned for me instead and roll with it. I'm sure that guy you helped was very appreciative.

    Congrats on your SITS day.

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  29. That was lovely and a perfect reminder for me today.

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  30. Beautiful.

    Happy SITS day.

    LisaDay

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  31. Beautiful story! How generous and selfless, especially since you had had such a frustrating experience earlier in the morning. You stopped the negative domino effect dead in it's tracks. It's likely that something negative had caused the receptionist to act like such a hag that morning, which in turn she passed on to you. Instead of paying the bad vibes forward, you did something kind, positive, and noble.

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  32. That's a nice story, good for you. I'd be hesitant about giving a man a ride.

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  33. How wonderful that you listened to that voice in your heart and took time to show you cared. That is a beautiful thing.

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  34. Sometimes it's easy not to do anything. You are wonderful for doing something - it does make such a difference.

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  35. I love this because I am always saying in my head, Oh my God, is he looking at me? do i look like an easy mark? Is he really homeless or just looking for an unsuspecting naive twit (I call myself that just to be funny, cuz twit is a hilarious word when applied to me and me only)....anyway, where was I going on my rant? I forget, but you are brave and kind, and wouldn't it be funny if your kindness, months later, miles away, affected negative anonymous in a positive way? We'll never know, but weirder things have definitely happened!!!!!

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Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing
greenmonkeytales@live.com

Shannon E. Kennedy

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Photo by Joan Harrison