Friday, May 27, 2011

Weighing In



BIG NEWS, I am now the proud owner of a "sleek & smart" Bioelectrical Impedance Analysis scale.

It teased me on "sleek," had me on "smart," and confused me on "Bioelectrical." In celebration of this purchase I'm eating leftover Easter Ham, in bed, with a smattering heaping of pale ale/horseradish cheese spread.  Zero carbs, unless you count the wine, which I've put on my off limits list on Mondays and Tuesdays, unless it's the day after Easter, or the first Monday after Reindeer Friday (hard to explain) or, if it happens to fall on a Whee Day (regular blog readers... you know what I mean).

Isn't it pretty!  Seriously streamline and ... dare I say, SEXY!!!

According to the directions, (not that I read directions and besides, who doesn't know how to step on a scale?) it says it sends "harmless, unnoticeable electrical current through your body to measure body fat percentage and body water percentage in addition to body weight."

Really?  no, seriously, REALLY???  How does it do this and how is that NOT harmful to, if nothing else, your aura?

If thats not enough, it claims to have a sturdy base, and to display its findings in a kind format.  WHAT do you think THAT means?  Is it some sort of digitized fantasy, "Good news... none of those Oreo cookies count, you look fabulous!  Have a nice day"

It also promises to remember and track the progress of 10 users!  Imagine THAT party!  Invite 10 of your closest friends over to weight themselves, before and then after indulging in a barrel of fun, food and spirits.

In reality, this is a classic example of lack of communication between Mr. and Mrs Cooked (aka husband and monkey me).  I recently vowed (out loud in shower, after husband left for work) that I am done weighing in.  That I would exercise regularly and measure my progress only by how good I feel about myself.

And DAMN IT, I feel good about me!  Now that spring has sprung, I'm running/walking regularly at the track behind the old high school - 5 days a week, after dropping husband off at the train.

It's a bitter sweet place.  It encases the old high school football field, the same field my father spent his glory days on and has requested his ashes be spread on.  It envelopes the Junior Babe Ruth baseball field, the same field my son Kerry played his best baseball days on.  Its lush greens were host to the pea wee soccer games that my daughter Lindsay and my grandson Jackson took part in.

It's also where I met Jay, aka Boris.  Our paths crossed while walking our dogs early one morning.  Jay was new to the neighborhood and I was enthusiastic about socializing my shitzu.


It wasn't an immediate click.  For one, Phoebe (Jay's super sweet golden retriever) was disinterested in my 5 pound pup and I didn't know what to make of this gregarious, much younger, stately man.

Our friendship is unlikely, depending on how you look at it. Yes, big age and height difference, but everything else is clearly, copacetic.

My joy quota is magnified by the friendships I attract.  Loving, nurturing, honest, uplifting, invigorating, relationships that surround, support and uplift me - bloggers, burners, soul sisters, former classmates, coworkers and my number one fan, Mr. Cooked.

In the fall of 2011, I attended a writing workshop with Jay and listened to him proclaim his souls desire ... to complete his first, best selling, novel.  He gave it a date, May 17th 2011.  His target is in clear view and I am in awe of his tenacity and perseverance.

Jay has inspired me to do the same.

I have hired an editor, recommended by writer, humorist & bliss follower Becky.  I need assignments, deadlines, outlines and direction.  I am dedicating my mornings to writing my best selling memoir.  I'm working this in, after dropping husband at train, running at track, and before heading into the office.

Something has to give.  It might very well be my blogging - unless I adapt to blogging (instead of facebooking and drinking) at night.

I promise not to waste any time on the high tech scale.

To those of you I hold close, requited supporter of my souls desire, thank you for heightening the joy quotient in my life.


Namaste 



19 comments:

  1. Awww, thanks for the mention, Shannon! And I'm thrilled for you that you've hired your editor and you're definitely on your way to your Best Selling Memoir! I better get busy with mine or you'll be kicking my butt on the New York Times list! :D
    Hey, don't forget to post a little something about my book contest, too, so you'll be one of the contestants! Hugs to you!

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  2. Where was the scale during Easter Dinner? I totally want a user profile. Do you think I can login using Facebook Connect? Does it come with an App? iMapMyRun does (which you should get for your walks/runs so we can keep tabs on you!). Perhaps there's an App called iMapMyArse?

    Shannon, your writing is awesome and I can't wait for you to put it in book/memoir form. I shall continue to send you inspiring, motivating and sometimes arse-kicking messages to keep you moving along the path toward your soul's desire. You've helped me reach mine! Now, can you recommend an agent?

    Keep writing. And keep heightening the joy quotient in all of our lives.

    -Jay

    P.S. Gregarious? Not so much. Stately? Yeah, I'm that.

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  3. Dont forget to send me one autographed copy of the book, I am pre booking my order!! Just love your writings... All the best, have a lovely day Shannon:)

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  4. BORIS... YES gregarious! You think not but thats exactly how you presented yourself to me. face it, you like people. not all people, but perhaps more than you're willing to admit.

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  5. Sweetheart!!!! You follow your heart and soul and write that book. We'll be here and I'll be first in line to get you to sign my copy.

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  6. You hired an editor! That's just all kinds of awesome, girlfriend. And that scale is definitely cool, but how you feel about yourself is the only real measurement that matters.

    Go rock the world!

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  7. Well, I'm not as gracious as these other folks. I NEED my monkey fix, who else will enlighten me on the wonders of stretch jeans? I sure hope you find a way/time to keep me informed.

    Does your bioelectrical analysis machine curl your hair if your feet are wet? :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  8. We will miss you in the blog o' verse, but look forward to reading your best seller.

    Hope there's a place up front for me in the autograph line for the book signing. :)

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  9. Very sleek indeed. I would probably still break the scale

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  10. An Editor? Awesome! I admire your determination and commitment - not to mention your talent. Good read.

    Namaste..........cj

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  11. Oh you cant go away I just came back: (

    PS I so want one of those scales, except I think it would be bad for me.
    I already weight 3 times a day. So wrong I know.

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  12. You had me at "pale ale/horseradish cheese spread," and I didn't even know then how full this post would be. Your writing plan sounds wise and absolutely do-able. Maybe that scale can be set up to let you know how many pages are ready and how many more there are to go! Regardless, I love it that the machine is designed to share information kindly... So are you really going to stop blogging altogether? I hope not!

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  13. I LOVE hearing you feel good about you!!
    Screw the scale :P
    Exciting news about the editor.

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  14. that IS one sexy scale.... but running and writing , much more fun
    cheers to your new adventure
    ~laura

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  15. I like the looks of that scale, but I don't know that I want an electric current running through me, no matter how harmless it claims to be.

    Good luck on the writing goal!

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  16. Well, I feel sad to lose you, especially since I just found you again, but I think the world will be a better place after you've written your book. At the very least, you'll be a more fulfilled person (which in turn will make the world a better place).

    And I say, ditch the scale.

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  17. Sounds like you have some healthy plans - that scale sounds intriguing and a little stressful! Best wishes in your writing.

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  18. Hey Sunshine... I hope all is well... Did you make the 2nd week of JazzFest??

    ~shoes~

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  19. Scales...Gah! Would be an interesting party just the same.

    ps - Monkeys are good.

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Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing
greenmonkeytales@live.com

Shannon E. Kennedy

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Photo by Joan Harrison