Friday, January 18, 2013

Unicorn Dreams

I'm getting in the van. I know it looks a bit suspicious, but I'm doing it. I'm getting in. 

I did it. This past weekend I started submitting my writing. I initially typed "started submitting my work," but it doesn't feel like work. Not the writing part anyway, that was fun. But that is a unicorn of a different color. Editing is tedious and stressful and not anything a monkey should be doing. So I asked Boris, my freakishly tall friend, to help. And he was extremely patient and precise and we made it through the process without pissing each other off (I think).

My tone is a bit sassy today mainly because I read the label on my raincoat and it says, "DRY CLEAN ONLY." Why would a raincoat need to be dry-cleaned? That is ridiculous.

And speaking of dry cleaners, Mason Cleaners misplaced seven of my husbands business shirts. I spent 20 minutes today watching a revolving rack of shirts swirl in succession and still no luck.

John, the owner of the dry cleaners, thinks my husband misplaced them. That is not only improbable, it's impossible. My husband drops the same number of shirts off every Saturday. He neatly places his soiled shirts on hangers and lines them up according to their huge - light blue to the left, dark blue to the right.

Sadly, John doesn't stamp your last name on the inside collar of your shirts. The cleaners up the street does. That's where I met my second husband. His family owned the store. I stopped going there after our divorce. Who could blame me. I didn't want to air my dirty laundry in from of the x-inlaws.

True story (so bizarre I must preference it by saying true story) ...

The x-inlaws, dry cleaning store would annually clean out their basement and discard any clothes that people forgot to pick-up. By "discard" I mean family members had first pickings before they carted them off to various clothing donation centers.

I was standing in my then boyfriend/now x-husbands living-room when his mother entered with two fist full of shirts. "These fit you good Eddie," she said in a thick chinese accent.

As much as I hated to admit it, she was right, they did fit Eddie good. And I liked them. They were nice looking shirts, well made, "sharp," as my father would say.

So I took a closer look. Stamped on the inside collar was the customers last name - MAGANN. Magann--not a common name. If you google it you'll find very few MAGANN's, lots of McGANN's but very few MAGANN's.

Turns out locating "MAGANN" was easier than anyone might have thought considering the fact that the shirts belonged to Terry, my son's father (my then X, now twice removed - confused?).

"Shit Eddie," I gawked,"Terry was wearing this shirt when you met him," pointing to a gingham blue, long sleeve, 100% cotton twill shirt.

Now MAGANN is someone who forgot where he placed his shirts but I assure you, lucky husband number three, knows exactly where his shirts are--all but seven of them.

But, back to the unicorn in the van...

I have been contemplating this scenario for far too long. If you saw a unicorn in a van would you get in?

It's as if the child in me see's her wildest dreams come true, if only she jumps in. And I did. I finally mustered up the courage to submit my writing. And yesterday, I received an acceptance letter from the literary magazine, They are going to publish "A Ride With My Father" or "A Dance With My Father" or "A Dance With Dad" or "The Dance"... They didn't like my original title and I can't seem to conjure up the perfect caption. Hopefully, they'll choose something that works for them. I honestly don't care as long as they spell my name right.

Thank you Dad for an ocean full of memories and the joy that comes from writing them.

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss

xo, MOnkeyME


  1. Congrats!

    And I am now a little more concerned about dry cleaners than i was before.

    1. TODAY (1/23), the dry cleaners found the shirts! yippy :)

  2. Congratulations and just one big YAY!!!! Very happy for you:-)

    That is a very funny story about the shirts belonging to someone you knew. Life is so full of interesting characters.

  3. Hysterical.

    As to the unicorn in the van: I would get in, but from what I know about unicorns, she would get out the minute I did so.

  4. Love that photo! Congrats on the publications.

  5. It's actually not that uncommon for dry cleaners to do that. REALLY uncommon for your (X) husband to be caught wearing your other X's shirts though. :)

    Congrats on the writing! I am still too chicken.

  6. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Dr Seuss

    As usual, I love ur quotes.

    Congrats!! I am happy that u are going to be published. I know it's a dream come true for u.

    I hope u are feeling and healing well.

  7. Congrats, Shannon! You are on your way!!!

  8. Congrats on getting published! And what a funny story about the shirts!

  9. One...I vote it should be The Dance. Just saying. Again. Cuz I promised I would repeat myself if you need me to....<3

    Two....are you forreal? That actually happened, husband #2 got husband #1's shirts? So it follows that husband #3's shirts must be in the van with the unicorn!!!!! It just makes sense!!



  10. I giggled when I read about the whole X wearing the other X's shirt. Makes you wonder if he was wearing his pants too!

    Woo Hoo! lets all go for a ride with the unicorn. Congrats!!

  11. Congrats! That happened w/David's shirts (lost)- the day I received the reimb. Check they found his shIrts! Told them to donate them since I already ordered new shirts! Really how many size 18 1/2 36 Tall shirts are layin around...

  12. Hey,

    Never mind the shirts, what about "A Date With Dad."

    Just sayin' :)

  13. Congrats on jumping in the van! (Just don't bend over, that horn doesn't look comfy.)

    love the x story. If ever the need for #4 arises, perhaps you ought to look into dating in another town. Just sayin...

    Have an awesome weekend!

  14. Shannon, I wanted to share this link. Hubris Press just launched Spilt Infinitive and is looking for submissions (nonfiction AND fiction). Spread the word!


  15. I would definitely NOT get into a van with a unicorn driving because everyone knows unicorns only listen to "light jazz" music and that would drive me insane!
    ~Just Jill

    1. Jill, that cracked me up! I can't even handle it when its a 15 second ride in an elevator.

  16. Shannon, I have been reading your work from time to time. I must say, I am totally impressed. Of course, you are now being published. It only makes sense. You have a very great storytelling way about you. And I should know. My father was and still is quite the storyteller!

    But I must say, of late, your writing has really reached out and grabbed me. I am inspired by your writing wit and I am very appreciative of it. I am also taking lessons from you, as well. Thanks. <3

  17. Congrats on the Publication Shannon!! I think I have been following you for around 2 years now bar the little gap in between. That tells you I love your writing!! Keep going places, have a wonderful week ahead :)


Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Shannon E. Kennedy


Photo by Joan Harrison