Sasha, my beloved "Berner," has two distinctive markings - a peace sign on her forehead and a cross on her chest. She is the most soulful creature I have ever met. "It's like living with a dolphin," I often say. There is something about her eyes and her steady, methodical grace, that instills a profound sense of peace and wellness. Not just for me, but for all those who walk with their heart open.
When I worry about how long I have left (this often happens in the dead of night), I remember that Sasha, who is 5 years old, has an average life span of only 7. Will she outlive me? I hope not. I don't want her to look for me. I don't want her to think I've abandoned her. And selfishly, I want her to greet me on the other side just as joyously as she does whenever I walk in the door.
When asked...
Are you dying?
To that I say...
Not today.
And if that's not enough I remind them that...
We are all dying.
When trapped in a state of fight or flight, Jesse, a root connection friend, responded by saying...
It's a lot to face, and I know you're strong enough, even if it feels like that isn't the case, when you're face-into it.
Your life won't be the same but how often has your life changed dramatically? You are one of the few who really makes something good of all the challenges, and so many people grow along the way.
Remember when we talked about the broken water pot that the Chinese man carried? You, me, The OE's (our burning man family)... we are all cracked pots, and we water the little flowers along the way without knowing it. Life is so colorful where you pass by! So... Green
I'm going to wear that. I'm going to own that. I'm going to carry that with me into surgery and into my healing.
I love my friend Jesse.
I love Sasha.
I love.
xo, MonkeyME
The complete, ridiculous journey can be found HERE
What a beautiful Sasha. And beautiful perspective as well. :)
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for stopping by L.G. Today, is a good day indeed.
DeleteSasha rocks! And so do you -- may you both rock on for a long time!
ReplyDeletePhoebe, our tuxedo cat, now demands yet another blog post that is allll about her. and of course, I will oblige.
DeleteHi there, here at last for a catch up and was saddened to read a few posts back of the latest developments. Now that I am back blogging I hope to call by more often. Stay strong x
ReplyDeleteLovely, so sweet and heartfelt.
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxoxo
MG
well you know the man and you know his heart. I'm a lucky monkey to be surrounded by so much love. we monkeys have learned how to attract it.
DeleteMonkey love is the best love of all...except for puppy love....oh, screw it. Love is just fuckinamazing. Thank God (or the universe or Buddah or Allah or whoever) love was incorporated into our lives!!!!!!!
DeleteThank you for sharing your love and your wit, humor and families...back East and Burning....with me...
xoxooxoxoxo
MG
So glad you have Sasha and your other friend. He's right, wherever you go, you can water and make it green. So wonderful that you love Shannon. That in itself is a glift.
ReplyDeletethank you Myrna. you, are a powerful lovers! xoxoxo
DeleteMy standard line when I am asked "Are you going to die?" is "Not yet."
ReplyDeleteI think I like your's better.
What a lovely post. I love what Jesse had to say about you. Yes. I see the "so. . .Green."
I spend most of my time worrying about the 5 kids and Pooldad - but I know Spottie has quite a few years to go and I [would like to not] think she would be lost without me. She is the "always there" girl to me.
Sigh.
bitter sweet...all of this. I think of that story about the dog that would go to his owners grave every day and rest on his headstone. I don't think that's an internet hoax.
DeleteI am so lucky to have Jesse in my life. I've learned how to attract love and its a beautiful thing. Now if I could just heal myself....
xoxo so glad I found you!
Sasha is beautiful, Jesse's words are beautiful & you are beautiful too, you Green Monkey, you!
ReplyDeletethank you sam! need to see what you're making! you always make me smile :)))))))
DeleteI left u a comment on my blog. As always u are in my thoughts and prayers. Kiss to all the lovely pets in ur home.
ReplyDeletewill check it out stormy! xoxo
DeleteNot today, ms. Shannon. Not today. :)
ReplyDeleteHey, Sunshine.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, we are all headed down that same path. I saw my daughter this weekend... she isn't taking care of herself at all... I was wondering if I will outlive her.
The Healthiest of us can step out in front of a bus tomorrow...
There was this lady at my church when I was but a wee pair of shoes... I wish I could recall her name. Normally I can, but tonight, I can't. I blame in on the wine I've consumed. Anyway, she had some form of disease way back and only had 6 months to live.
She did finally die... at the age of 92... she outlived all of those fuckers who said she didn't have a chance.
*huggles*
~shoes~
You have lived so much.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the honor of using my words. I am touched that they meant that much.. I meant that much, but sometimes they don't come out right.
You have love with so many people, in so many different ways. I am so glad to be one of them!
:-)
<3
)'(
I agree with Red Shoes comment. Don't think about who will out live who. JUST LIVE! I'm not supposed to be here... but I AM!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful thing to say. Sasha rocks! And so does The Green Monkey.
ReplyDeleteWater away.
xoxo