Last year I managed to keep everything caged in the "cat room" - a spare, second floor bedroom. This year the cat put her paws down and insisted that her room be kept clean (minus the clumps of cat hair).
Uncluttered Cat Room
Faux fur, fishnets, boots, bandanas, goggles, gloves, tutus and tails...due to the cat's demands, a calamity of chaos litters the loft ...
all the way down to the living-room.
This corner is reserved for faux fur, animal attire, hats and tutus.
No more formal Sunday dinners - our once dull, drab, dining room table has been transformed!
A line of boots, predetermined zip-locked daywear, and gothic garb.
Not ALL this is mine you know. Check out my husbands tiger hat, tail and boot cuffs.
As hard as it is to imagine, I still have a few stray items that I need to pick up so yesterday - in celebration of Connecticut's "tax exempt week" - I headed to a local department store armed with a 15% Off Total Purchase coupon.
First on my list - a playa staple - black boots. After 7 years of service, my bad-ass black pleather boots disintegrated and I had high hopes of snagging Fryes.
I was greeted by an overly eager senior sales manager who insisted on calling me "DEAR." The only person I want to hear call me dear is my mother and my husband.
I am a rare breed of woman who doesn't like to shop. As a rule, I don't like to be SOLD anything. I prefer to be left on my own until its time to ring me up but, against my wishes, I was being assisted by TWO sales clerks.
I especially don't need a frumpy, sixty something sales associates opinion on what looked good and what is in style, AND I certainly didn't expect to be insulted when I reached for a studded, knee high, 50% off flat heeled boot and was told I was "too old" for that.
THIS is why I shop online - zero chance of slapping someone!
All I could see was RED. I tossed the boots aside and, in a pumped up rage, told my sales associate that not only did I not NEED or ASK for her opinion, but that I had an opinion of my own. I then informed her that her over-caked makeup did NOT match her skin tone nor did it compliment the hue of her outdated suit. (I get mean when I'm mad - not something I'm proud of)
I was half way out of the store when I remembered I still needed power panties. There was no other way I was going get the snaps closed on my black pleather nurse's costume without SPANX.
The people at Spanx are evil geniuses. Their latest undergarment is ultra sheer and, according the label, a delight to wear. So much so, that the "directions" give you 3 options.
Wear 1 to firm...
Wear 2 to support...
Wear 3 to TRANSFORM!
Who in their right mind would wear 3 pairs of panties AND at $42.00 each, thats... (let me get my calculator).... $126.00 dollars for (lets be honest with each other and call it what it is)... a girdle!
Exactly how many panties will it take to close the snaps on my nurse's outfit?
And, how much am I willing to pay?
Where does the extra flesh go?
Am I too OLD for costumes?
I left the department store with nothing but my 15% off coupon, a bad attitude, and a less than perfect opinion of myself.
photos of Spanx, Fryes and rubber undergarments courtesy of Google image
Green Monkey Tales © 2010 Shannon E. Kennedy