Sunday, July 29, 2012

Rub-On (Right-On)


They're here, they're here! The Rub-On nipples are here! 


They come in a variety of shades - 38 less than 50 shades of brownish/peachy/pink/tan. But only in one size. My OLD areola's were quite large (just ask Pastie Dan) but these will be fun to play with and will aid in the permanent tattoo decision process. 

My order selection included light peachy tan (I must have been drinking) and medium chestnut brown (same color as Chester, my make believe pony when I was 8).

My husband, aka Dr. Cooked, choose dark caramel brown. I'm guessing he fantasizes about me being a black women, or being with a black women, or remembering that one time, at band camp, when he was with a black women, or that ebony only women's orgy he attended, or....(((((SLAP)))))

According to the instructions, these Rub-ON, Rub-OFF, temporary tattoo's can last one or two weeks and are easily applied.  So, lets give it a go!

Dr. Cooked is ready (he takes his job very seriously)...


STEP ONE: Cut the diameter around the edge of the tattoo and remove the clear top sheet. (It doesn't work unless you remove that clear top sheet. Trust me.)


STEP TWO: Press tattoo face down on skin. 


STEP THREE: Wet the back of the tattoo thoroughly and press firmly. 


STEP FOUR: Wait 30 seconds and then peel off the paper backing from the skin.

STEP FIVE: Rinse tattoo gently with water on fingertips and then let dry well (oops we missed that step).

STEP SIX: Dust with body powder (body powder? I'm guessing that's the same as face powder?). 


This is a close up of me, 10 days after my exchange from expanders to implant surgery. The scars across the middle of my noobs (new boob) are fading well. The lightening bolt looking vein on the upper left, which appeared after my bilateral mastectomy, will be treated later and should disappear. The line towards the bottom of my left noob is just a crease from my night gown, but that bulging rib under my left noob, is an unexplained, post mastectomy, permanent disfigurement. 



I'm going back for another surgery at the end of August or beginning of September. This time I'll be getting nipples and my noobs will get some tweaking. I'm going to go a tad bigger, higher, and closer together.

After that, I'll be going to New Orleans, where Vinnie Myers, a 3-D tattoo artist extraordinaire, will be laying his magic on me.

I can't stop feeling them and I'm inviting everyone I know to feel them. They feel so natural compared to the bricks (tissue expanders filled with saline) I had strapped to my chest for 4 months.

But don't let these noobs fool you. These are NOT breasts. This is stretched skin, and under that stretched skin are stretched pectoral muscles, and under those stretched pectoral muscles are silicone implants. If you touch them, I cannot feel them. All sensation ceased when I had my bilateral mastectomy.

Even so, my noobs have taken on an identity of their own. They document my odyssey, my inner peace, my tenacity, my resilience, and my determination to live out loud.

So if you're in the Tri-State area, feel free to stop by and cop a squeeze! 

(except for the twisted, ass-crack showing, duck hating, maintenance worker - you get nothing)


Until then, 

xoxoMonkeyME

Special thanks to Dr. Sandra Margoles for her incredible work 
and her dedication to women recovering from breast cancer.

For your very own pair of Rub-On Nipples visit RubOnNipples.com

To see what a long strange trip its been CLICK HERE.
WARNING, this link includes graphic, post mastectomy photo's.

For those of you curious about the size - these are mentor, round, smooth, high profile 475 implants.


38 comments:

  1. Such a great post! I wish I was in the tri-state area.

    You look great. :) And who'da thought there'd be rub on nipples. Those are cool.

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    1. remind me again where you are Em??? I know you moved, did I miss your CT drive by???

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    2. Palm Springs, California. I was supposed to be in Western Massachusetts. But it's like California is the Hotel California and I'm having a terrible time getting the hell out of here.

      In other news, I'm now thinking of moving to Oregon. But I may have to move back to LA first. It's all very up in the air. Even if I did move to Oregon, it wouldn't be until next year. Unless I had a book go viral. Which is hard to do without actually publishing something.

      There. Aren't you glad you asked? LOL

      Delete
    3. LOL :) ugh, you mean you have to get it published first? it just can't be in your head? what a load of CRAP that is!!! :)

      Delete
  2. Hi nubes:-)

    Well, they now have been greeted...


    Wander

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. there should be a bell to ring or something :)

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    2. Thought you were going to get some pasties...I'm sure there are some with bells....

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  3. Hey, those rub-on's look pretty realistic! Okay now -- next stop -- pasties with tassels!

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    Replies
    1. Rub-On pasties with tassels??? :)

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    2. I think there's a potential product line here. In lots and lots of colours! Rub on pasties!!!!!

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    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. edible tassels - cherry liquorish YUM!!

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    5. I think you're on to something! (I removed my other comment because I was duplicating myself.)

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  4. Shannon--

    U look fabulous!!!

    Wear ur "scars" well. They r ur "story". And we all have our "story". This is ur time. On my blogspot there is a little quote about wearing our scars. So do not worry if some remain. They r u story of ur strength.

    I will be reading the October blogs. U know I am different by now and do not read things in order.

    I have had a lovely few hours out and about. Stopped by the bookstore to look around and to pick up supper from the cafe' for later on.

    I have my blue jean Micky Mouse overalls on. A funny thing happened at the bookstore. I have a teddy bear always in my bag (another story for later). A grandma rushed up to me exclaiming rather loudly "Oh how cute!!!!" as she was reaching towards me. I thought she was going for the teddy bear but she yanked on my pocket of my overalls which had Micky Mouse peeking over the pocket. She was giggling. She was pretty strong too because she pulled my pocket quite forceful towards her. I laughed and said thank u that I had had these overalls for over 20-years.

    Anywho--

    New Orleans for a tattoo. Special place, special tattoos and special memories...

    Maybe in 2013, when I visit New Orleans, I will be brave enough to get an itty bitty puppy paw on my hand between the thumb and first finger.

    I picked up some great reading materials. I am set for the night indoors.

    Did not want to rush thru Elmwood Cemetery (they close the gates at 5) so I opted to do that next Sunday. I got a book on the cemetery. Quite interesting all the history about Memphis in this cemetery. I have a lot of reading and research to do.

    I love books. Funny I can read and research as much as I do considering I have been diagnosed with ADD.

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    Replies
    1. how do you do that! teach me!!! I have not been diagnosed with ADD but I have some sort of focusing difficulty. Oh the Memphis cemetery sounds spooktacular!!!!

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    2. Reading with add or adhd is a beautiful thing ...if you find the right material the world disappears :-)

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    3. I love to disappear into my books and movies. I agree it is a wonderful thing. In college, after I was diagnosed with ADD they would test me by myself and sometimes come up with creative ways to help me. When I took the medication for ADD it was wonderful to be able to concentrate but it subdued me so much. I have a bubbly personality and it made friends, family and coworkers unhappy that I was not my normal self. I can't imagine not be able to read. They would take away one of the activities I enjoy so much.

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  5. Oops on my Facebook is the quote about scars. I thought it quite profound what it said and meant.

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  6. U might have ADD. I diagnosed myself when reading an article. I was like that is me that is me that is me. I was working for pharmacy at the time and going to school at night. Went to college counselor talked to her about RX for Ritalin. She said psychiatrist would have to write it. She opened up door t psychiatrist's office said write her RX she has already convinced me. He did. That was 20 years ago. I did eventually get tested and I did have it. A few years ago aI returned to college for court reporting aka for every hour in class mandatory 3 hours homework practice working fulltime plus this and it was hard. I went on another med. It mellowed me out so much people were concerned they did not know I was med. My Captain ordered me off of it because she said it drastically changed my personality aka Zombie. I am loud, happy, laughing very emotionally so clearly there was big difference. I can say I know what it feels like to concentrate like a normal person but the meds were too much. The last one had me sweating in winter. I thought I was having hot flashes/menopause. Went to doc and said give me estrogen or whatever. He was like u r on bcp how much more estrogen do u need. BCP has a lot. Then he looked at the other med's side effect sweating and insomnia. Ugh--

    I can't explain it. If I love what I am doing, then I can finish projects. I have no issues at work either but I have deadlines there so--

    I have lots of energy. I out work my 20 to 30'd aged co workers.

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  7. Your noobs are pretty fabulous looking from out here in California. It's a little too far to stop by;-)

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  8. Super brave, and looking good, I made a quick trip down Rt 6 this week, thought of you guys, Harp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ahhh HARP!!! you need to pop in for a squeeze!

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  9. These are pretty neat! New Orleans isn't too far of a shout from me. I hate the drive there, but they do have excellent physicians.

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    Replies
    1. its a boring drive. The last time we went down (in April) we drove from Connecticut. If it wasn't for the audio books I would have lost my mind.

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  10. In regards to October comments--

    U r a great "read". Entertaining--

    Funny at times. Serious at times.

    U were right. We write very much alike.

    I think we just appreciate the "silly" things taht happen to us. Most would get upset but we just go with the flow and share the "story".

    I started reading ur stories last night. The ones that are not under the monthly blogs.

    I was so cracking up when u said u wore double spandex to a funeral. Spandex--yes they make ones panty lines disappear. However, I think u do not even need spandex. U r cute as a button.

    Today is Monday morning which is a very very very busy day for me. We have to deal with three day's worth of crimes. Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I walked into a loud active office. This immediately tells me something is up.

    One of the "dicks" short for "detectives" made the mistake of taking my reports off my desk before they were assigned. A big "no no" especially on a Monday. There is a process in place that makes sure we get things done in a timely manner. Recently, we had promotions. They got a little "ahead" of themselves. I had to "nicely" put them in place and order those reports back on my desk immediately. Sometimes, u have to retrain them when they get a little big for their britches.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. okay... again... you read like a novel!

      Do me a favor and start at "Today is Monday..." and continue on for another 750 pages or so. I want to know whats in the reports. I know it will be juicy.

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    2. Do you have any vodka???

      ~shoes~

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  11. Hahaha--

    It is juicy. Some of it anyway.

    Sometimes, I have to be careful and not cross that line. U know the confidential one. But I just love to journalize so to speak.

    U r the writer. However, maybe we can come up with I'll name a topic and u come up with a story.

    Had I not taken a Benadryl last night and my eyes got blurry I could have read ur blogspot all night/morning long.

    Truly I wonder what am I'm gonna run across in ur blogs. I have not even made it through October's blogs yet.

    What I thought was "strange"--was I had mentioned to u about meeting up in New Orleans in 2013 for Voo Doo Festival.

    This is the God's Honest Truth what was the first blog I pulled up in October but about u visiting Voo Doo Festival. Shannon--to me that was a "sign". A "sign" that I interpretted that we were meant to be friends in some capacity.

    Believe it or not. I do not have a computer or tv at the home. I use my phone for computer searches, calling, texting, u tube, Netflix. So sometimes it is not the quickest way to "research".

    T-Mobile tells me I have the "most taken" care phone they have ever seen. I say when it is ur phone, ur tv and ur computer one would be wise to take care of it.

    There are many stories in my life. Mine and others. I love to listen to people's lives.

    I am so happy that u commented on my blog last week. I did not want to intrude on ur life while u were healing but u opened up the door and I decided to walk in. I figured it was an invitation to ur life. I am so happy I did because u r very entertaining. Very very entertaining. I prefered to read ur blog over my book last night.

    Anywho--I look forward to our friendship.

    My topic today is "silver glitter (fairy dust)". Somewhere in a story will u mention "silver glitter (fairy dust)."

    I am gonna take time today to look u up on Facebook. My cell phone will not allow me to go deep into anyone's Facebook. I just can read the timeline for the day. It used too.

    StormyDawn

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  12. P.S. Maybe my next blog story will be about "My First Time". U would be amazed at how long I held onto my virginity. As usually, I made sure it was nonforgettable. "We" laughed afterwards. Put it this way, Micky after awhile was the only one that knew I was still a virgin. There were complications along the way. A stalker whatnot. So I stopped sharing about that bit part of my life except for the closest of friend. One friend bugged me so much I finally told her "my secret". Let us put it this way no lie we were at a restaurant and she was eating. The utensil fell out of her hand. I just looked at her and kept on eating. I said, "Well, u asked." She was in SHOCK. But I had my reasons for waiting so long. And happy that I did.

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  13. Breaktime--

    I type over 90 wpm so this won't take a second.

    "My First Time"

    He walked through the door of my office. I looked up from my desk. This was the first time I ever laid eyes on him. A "dick" from another unit. I did not know him (not even his name) However, immediately I knew he was "the one" the first man that I would ever sleep with--

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  14. Shannon I am gonna kept this particular story here if u do not mind. But I will give it in segments.

    I looked on his right hand. No wedding ring. Good. That was very good.

    I did not see him except for a couple more times in a year. But I had patience. I had waited this long so what was a few more days, months, or years for that matter. I was patient when it came to my virginity. I could not just sleep with any one. I had to have feelings for him. And I wanted him to care for me as well.

    One day, I was requested to transfer to a different unit. They had heard I was a very fast and accurate transcriptionist. His unit needed a strong transcriptionist. I fit the bill. So off I went with my box of belongings. U know I was thrilled. God was making a way for me.

    Finally, I met in person the first man I was ever gonna sleep with. And then came the disheartening news I found out.

    He was married with two sons.

    This could not be. I had been waiting. He was my destiny. I just knew he was the one. This could not be happening. I knew in my heart that this was not right. Why would I feel this way and then have this thrown in my face a year later. A year of thinking of him. A year of dreaming of him.

    I tucked my feelings in the back of my mind. I had to see him every day and I never let on what I thought or my feelings.

    One day, I was joking with him. I had seen him having quite an intimate phone call in his vehicle. He was laughing and u could just tell he was speaking with a woman by his facial expressions.

    I walked past his vehicle.

    When he came in the office, I joked with him saying u looked like u were talking to a woman the way u were behaving.

    He lashed out at me. Told me to come in the Evidence Room. When I got up and followed him in the room, he closed the door. He said, "Do not ever talk about that again.". I was shocked and hurt that he would talk to me so harshly.

    He said, "I am going through a nasty divorce but I have not told anybody about it up at work. I am involved with another woman too.". Only later did I find out that he had been separated from his wife. I had a whole year to have been getting to know him. And during that year when he was available he fell in love with another woman.

    Shocked was the only thing I could feel.

    He was getting divorced from his wife but he already had found another to love in that year apart.

    Well, I definitely did not understand. How could this be? This was the man I was suppose to sleep with. My first one. Hopefully, my only one.

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  15. Replies
    1. I only wanted to sleep with one man in my lifetime. I figured if u really loved someone it would be enough. U know what I have found is when u r curious and sincere in ur curiousness questions whatnot men can be so loving and patient. I will tell u I have only slept with three men in my lifetime. I was friends with each of them for a long period of time. Two detectives and a St Jude's doctor who was 15 years younger than me. All three of them r still close to me. Very protective of me. And never revealed we were lovers to anyone. It has been a unique situation to say the least. I currently work in the office with one. I am just different. A child at times and yet a woman too. I cannot explain it. It is loving. It was fun. It was nasty sometimes but nasty in a good way. A playful way. And I loved it all. I will have to tell two funny stories about my first time. It is funny about me not him. If u do not have fun and laugh at urself what fun u. But my guys rolled right along with me and we laughed about a lot of things.

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  16. I found you through Jules at "Surviving Boys" - and now I am honored to know who, exactly, the Green Monkey is.

    I know I am late to this party - a lady you throw a helluva one - and I have been reading your archives all morning.

    I have been trying to compose an email in my head over all the posts I have already read, but failing miserably [yeah, what's new with me?] but this post stopped me in my tracks and I just had to comment.

    You are so gorgeous, in so many ways. And to post this? I think I just experienced my first true "girl crush". You are one of the most inspiring women I have ever met.

    Thank you. For YOU.

    You have my utmost love and admiration. If there is anything you need or I can do, please do not hesitate to contact at my blog or email [skippyaveo@gmail.com].

    Okay, I am done gushing. hee But you deserve every word we write. You are just . . .cool. Thank you for making me feel so much better.

    Hugs and love xo Janine

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  17. boy Janine, you just made my day!!! (okay, year!)

    I am so glad you connected with my story. It's, at times, a tough one to swallow.

    When I'm not "promoting pornography" (in the eyes of the lonely, duck hating, ass-crack maintenance man), I'm trying to write about anything but cancer. But lately thats getting harder and harder to do.

    Heading over to your way now... Hugs, and love to you! xoxoMonkeyME

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  18. Oh gawd, please tell me you got distracted or fell in a hole or something?! Before you made it over to my most insipid blog?

    PLEASE? Ha. 'Cause if you walked in on my latest post you are going to think I am not only one ATM service charge away from overdrawing my account [i.e. one card shy of a full deck] - but that I am devoutly religious-y. Oh, and not mention being a whiner extraordinaire.

    I hope you didn't waste your time there. I do have to say tho' I get what you mean about trying to keep our blogs about something other than our health - which gets impossible sometimes because it simply colors our worlds every minute of everyday.

    I don't want it to and I see you dont' want that either. I just wish I could be as brave as you and as forthwith on my blog, but the fact of the matter is I am a big wimp and about as vague as I can be. I don't like to worry anyone and I keep most of the specific details to myself just because it is bad. And I don't find sharing is a benefit to me or anyone. WHICH? IS STRANGE - because your blog and all your beautiful posts helped me so much this morning. Your humor, your resilience, your love for your husband, family and friends is amazing.

    And then I think - why can't I do that too? So - anyhoodle - sorry if my blog made absolutely no sense if you had the misfortune to read it. It is what it is - a blog to journal for my husband, our 5 kids and with the added bonus that I made a lot of very good friends. And I have learned A LOT.

    Thank you again. You're the best. Now, stay away from my blog unless you can't sleep. It is guaranteed to cured insomnia. Well, except mine. ::wink::

    xo Janine

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Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing
greenmonkeytales@live.com

Shannon E. Kennedy

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Photo by Joan Harrison