I set my alarm to remind myself that it is the first Wednesday of the month - time for my Insecure Writer's Support Group post.
I am currently decompressing from the burn at Lake Tahoe, California. It is beautiful here. The crowds are gone. The water is clear and calm.
Burning Man never disappoints. I submerged myself in music, art, fire, and dance. I was physically challenged by the extreme elements. I was emotionally swaddled in open minds and hearts. There is always struggle here but it promotes growth and that growth benefits every aspect of my life.
Overexposed: A loss of highlight detail, that is, when important bright parts of an image are "washed out"
One of my camp mates expressed his concern about my overexposure. "Thanks to your blog I know more about you then I do my family and that disclosure makes you vulnerable," he said.
His comments came from a place of LOVE and of course, he's right but I don't know how else to write.
I don't know how to make up stories, how to write from pure imagination. I can colorize but I can't create something out of nothing. I write what is in my heart.
I don't have regrets about anything that I've posted here but I suppose that could change. I could lose a client. I could alienate another family member. I could attract a psycho stalker.
It's too late for me to change my name, my location, or my occupation.
I like most of what I write. I like most of who I am and what I don't like about me I write about because if I write it, it doesn't stick inside of me. It doesn't weigh me down or clog me.
Does any of this make sense? Does your writing make you feel vulnerable? Do you have any regrets?
xo,MonkeyME
I write from that place inside, and at times it is real, very real, at others it is fiction. I have some fears around my writing but I want to write and the muse wants what it wants. If someone has a problem with what I write, my art, I say to them...fuck off. I for one am grateful that you choose to share with me (because as a reader it is all about me) your life. If they dont want to see your noobs...fuck um! if they dont want to hear your past...fuck um. If they are uncomfortable with your journey...that is their shit, fuck um!
ReplyDeleteI want the world to see what I see when I close my eyes...it's a trippy place ;-)
Wander
I love that line Wander! ...and the "fuck um" rant works like a charm!
DeleteWell, I blog using a pseudonym so I guess that answers that, eh? Everything I say on my blog is true, though. However, I'm not one to bare all, so to speak.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had fun at Burning Man. Up here in the Great White North, we have a festival in the middle of winter called Freezing Man.
I heard about Freezing Man or Ice Man or some sort of cold man. Not sure if I could handle that. I can tell you are you when you write and pseudo would have been a good idea once upon a time...
DeleteI expressed the same concerns a few days ago in my comment section. I almost got up and deleted my blog posts. Just all of a sudden I thought about having a stalker. I've had one before. It's not pleasant especially if they seem like they can get violent. Mine stated that unless I slept with him he would kill my baby sister.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think that we have to write what we feel. And for that reason, I do think we are more free than most. When u put it out there, it just feels like u can grow more inside.
Those who tend to clam up I eventually stray away from them. If they r not open to sharing, what's the point. U can't get to know a person unless they r willing to open up.
U do what u feel is right for urself. We all can't behave the same. And u have helped many a people. Sometimes, u have to have faith that God is in control of whatever happens.
Thanks Miss Stormy! and I agree, the more open you are the easier it is to grow....
DeleteFor me, writing often provides a conduit by which to make sense of my life and the world around me. It's the truth as I see it. What other think is irrelevant. As long as I stay true to myself as a writer, then that is all that matters. I know that the worst advice is unsolicited advice, but I'll throw in my two cents here anyway. You have the right idea, write the truth according to YOU, and don't worry about the readers. Either they will like what they see or they won't. We can't control other people, only ourselves.
ReplyDelete:))))) I appreciate your 2 cents Andrea! Thank you
DeleteI'm getting ready, very soon, to "come out" on my blog with my name and a picture or two and all of that. Like, at some point in the next couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteIt's taken me a long time to be willing to do it. But the truth is, it's time. I suppose that's part of being a writer and part of being public in this time and place. But I'd rather be out there, you know?
And I always have written the truth on my blog. It's just been a matter of keeping who I am quiet. (When I come out, I'll write more about it.)
I wish you were swinging down southeast before going home! I would LOVE to meet you!!!
Love your site. Love your honesty, admire it, because while all you can write what is inside and put yourself out there. I can't -- what I write is called 'fiction' but the truth would surprise, shock and alienate the rest of humanity. Although, I think you are the one person who would get it.
ReplyDeleteDon't change, don't hide, you inspire because of who you are and because of it...maybe one day I'll walk out into the sunshine too!
I have lots of regrets, it's not the fashion but they exist and someday, every day they show up in my writing. That's why 'fiction' is so much fun!
Stay true to who you are, but I don't have to say that, do I?
I have the same difficulty writing anything that is not my truth. I think I'm pretty open and vulnerable on my blog, but I also did not disclose my full name, address or occupation. However some of my family reads it, and they don't know me very well...so I am being more vulnerable in that way than to cyber friends.
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE and their mother was in Tahoe last weekend! Had I known that, I would have called a convention and hosted a bon fire. Drat!
YOU BUM!
ReplyDeleteYOU WENT!!
AUGH!!!
YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GOING!!!!
*huggles*
I SO look forward to hearing about it!!!!
~shoes~
I have a cousin that goes to Burning Man every year.
ReplyDeleteI have no regrets when it comes to my books. They are what they are.
Thank you. And yes, yes, yes. I don't even tell my family about my blogs--I'd rather confess to strangers, so much easier. All I can say is, you are an amazing woman (and I'm NOT a stalker, I'm in Canada for God's sakes). But. Your vulnerability is empowering to me. And I thank you for it.
ReplyDeleteK
Ive shared my blog with only a few people, and inevitably, its bitten me in the ass. Still I write for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you went to BM! You've inspired me, I'm going next year, no more excuses on my part.
I was a little scared of your openness. Maybe because it made me feel a little helpless. I am not sure. What you said here resonates my exact feelings about blogging, I can only speak my exact voice, I can't edit, or enhance, the only thing I can do is not speak at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you went. Your courage gives me more :-)
ReplyDeleteIt was great to see you on the Playa! Although is was not enough time, not enough hugs, not enough dancing! Next year we will start earlier.
ReplyDeleteAbout your writing: you write with your soul. gritty, risky, sad, happy, sometimes hard to look at, impossible to look away. It exposes the reader to truth, it makes us squirm in our seats.
I love that you know no other way to write, but from honesty. And you reflect to us much about ourselves, our strengths and our challenges.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful to you Shannon. I don't think you suffer from overexposure, but from true revelation.
Well, I use a pun name to keep my private life private but then I tell people my real name all the time. I have regretted something I wrote because I took Donald Maas's advice to heart (in Writing a Break out Best Seller or something like that) where he said make the stakes higher and make a lot of bad things happen to your characters. I did, and beta readers complained that it was way too much. I'm in the third rewrite to make it tolerable to adults. Teens didn't mind. But parents pay for books for middle schoolers.
ReplyDeleteI've heard of Burning Man but never went. Our big diversion down here is hurricanes, prep and then cleanup. Whoo! Nice to meet you, but I think I might have visited during a Platform Campaign.
You know I write humor, I can only write if something annoys me. I lie and exaggerate. Someone corrected some of my "facts" and I got a little defensive the other day. I reminded her it was a fact free blog and I care very little about what people think. I'm glad you tell it like it is. Nice rack by the way. No apologies.
ReplyDeleteI have only a few people who know I write. I never really thought too much about it until one of my followers that had been reading for about a year, got a job in my office. It has worked out fabulous, but I will admit.... it was kind of weird that on her first day, she knew more about me, my relationships, how I felt about things, my struggles with my kids... than my co-workers of the last ten years.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I guess I did leave myself vulnerable.
But that just keeps me honest... and motivated.
Hello Shannon, I had been on and off blogging but I am taking in my blog private to make a "real" break. A break, not a break up. Hope to see you again soon. My email is zoneout415 at gmail dot com.
ReplyDeletewill email you! I also decided I'm going to do a private blog to work on breaking open...
DeleteDo what you gotta do Monkey.
ReplyDeleteMOnkey, you are inspiring people every day, those who read your blog. I agree with Ponder, do what you gotta do! Hard to put the genie back into the bottle now anyway! :) You have probably helped more women with breast catstir than you will ever know, and that came from a place of honesty and courage, which you inhabit. So thank you for being your own true self.
ReplyDeleteWe are seeing Chad this weekend! We're going to get in touch with Ponder and Bunnytoes and see if they can join us, or maybe we can visit them on the Ponderosa. I missed you most of all this year MOnkey.
Anyway....keep on writing.
Love you. XO and Luna says "snort-snort" Lick Lick!
DB
Shannon, I'm glad to hear you are back from the Burn and you had a great time! How are you *feeling*? Looking forward to reading more as you update.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your convo above about writing honestly and with vulnerability, I think that's something uniquely inherent in cancer blogging. I wrote about this back in May after I stubbled upon a concept called "blog envy" that I had never heard of, let alone experienced.
Your post reminds me that it's a great big world out there and we must respect everyone's unique journey. I never regret blogging, especially when I feel vulnerable. I know there are others out there feeling what I am feeling and my giving voice to those (generally unpleasant) feelings brings a little comfort. I hope. We're all in this soup together.
I don't know if that made any sense, but never stop writing. I have hungry ears!
Nobody else in this world can be YOU. So be the best, most wonderful, outrageous, generous, brilliant writer that you are! You're one of my heroes!
ReplyDelete