Confession #1:
Labor Day is a stones throw away and I'm missing a pair of white pants. I own three pairs that currently fit my 50 something frame. One is a white, capri length, denim. The pockets help disguise my pancake flat ass but the fabric doesn't hug me and I either pull up the waist after every twist, bend or reach, or I strut a droopy butt.
The other two are exactly the same if it were not for the stains. They are made from a forgiving fabric that looks too tight when I put them on and too loose after the first fifteen minutes.
How do you lose a pair of pants? They're not at the dry cleaners. I didn't lend them to anyone. I don't remember coming home without pants.
I am currently working on an article for The New York Times. It doesn't mean they will accept it, but if I tell YOU I'm doing it, I'll follow through with it. I promise to edit it before I submit it.
It will be the first piece I've submitted on my own. It's a good story. It's a true story. It will make a few people squirm but that won't stop me. It never does. If anything, it motivates me.
Burning Man started on Monday, August 27th and I'm not there. It would have been year 10 for me but I didn't want to jeopardize my health and the position of my noobs. Besides, I have too many restrictions - must wear a surgical bra, no biking, no lifting more than 5 pounds, no riding the flying pig or the penis seesaw, no bouncing, no climbing, no sliding, no falling, no dancing till dawn...
My noobs have a mind of their own. My noobs fell. The right one went first. It fell all the way down to the lower lip of my ribcage. The left one is following. My doctors revisions didn't hold. I am discouraged. Now, instead of my next surgery being about getting nipples, I'm getting cadaver skin. It's either that or they start ripping muscle from my back or from my pancake flat ass.
None of this would be necessary if DICDOC didn't fuck up. This will make 5 surgeries in 6 months. I'm worried I'm getting addicted to the anesthesia. Or to bright lights. Or to the smell and stain of iodine.
Red Dance - Burning Man 2011
Flaunt them while you've got them.
I am afraid that if I skip a year at Burning Man I'll never go back. I'm afraid I'll miss something good - something big. I'm afraid not going will tame me.
I sold my ticket to Burning Man weeks ago and then the buyer changed her mind and cancelled her check.
Now I have a ticket, compromised noobs, and a relentless yearning to roll and suck in the dust. So... I'm going.
Mentally, I'm already there.
Live video from Black Rock City with BMIR radio in the background.
xo,MonkEymE
When you come home without pants and don't remember it, that's a sure fire sign that you had a good time.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your noobs. I hope things get rectified once and for all.
Every year I swear I'm going to Burning Man and every year it coincides with kids starting school. I go vicariously through my friends when they come back and sit around a campfire, telling the stories (of what they can remember, anyway.)
ReplyDeleteRoll in the dust and enjoy every moment!
Can I read your article? I think in the skeem of the email thing you owe me one :-)
ReplyDeleteReally shoot me an email
Wander
Were off to an new exciting place tomorrow! Where are your pants??
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your noobs. Please remember at least the most basic restrictions while still having a good time at Burning Man. You can always buy new pants.
ReplyDeleteAloha Shannon,
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed by your YOU-ness every bloody time I read one of your posts.
Hope the noobs get fixed soon, that must be a serious pain in the (flat?) ass.
Good luck if you go to Burning Man... and here's a positive thought... you've been nine times and I'd never heard of it until I read one of your posts :)
PS... Ohhhh NYT, nice :) (Super Good LUCK with that :)
I will likely never go to Burning man, but as I have said before I love your stories. :) Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteShannon, I am not at all surprised that you decided to go to Burning Man. I think it is the best thing you could do for YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteI am *really* sorry that you, too, have a big cog in your recon wheel. But you might as well take your noobs somewhere fun, right?
And I cannot WAIT to hear your retelling of this week in the desert! have fun, sistah!
xoxo
We should all go together :-)
ReplyDeleteAt our age our noobs have a mind of their own and, are always hanging much lower then we would like them to be, but i do hope all gets fixed for you soon.
ReplyDeleteBurning Man sounds fun, I will have to check them out.
Have fun
That damn DicDoc. I can't believe you need another surgery. I hope you are having a good time at Burning Man. Lets get together again soon.
ReplyDeletelooking forward to ur article on NY Times
ReplyDeleteSquirming and wiggling and twitching oh my....
ReplyDeleteIt's good to keep motivated, and having something to keep us that way is fantastic!!
You will never be tame, my dear. Of that I am certain.
xooxoxoxoxo
MG
Oh me LOVE me Some Monkey! When you are ready, please do share some Playa-Magic tales!! I was there in SPIRIT - and had life-changing experience! Broke up with Troy.. 15 yrs.. and it was about damn time! I feel free as a bird, and my creativity and writing have skyrocketed! Muuuwwwhaaa!!! -- BUTTA
ReplyDeleteCongratulations in advance on the New York Times article! Have fun at Burning Man, anxious to see the upcoming post on that!
ReplyDeleteME TOO!!! Love this topless pic of you here MOnkey, it's gorgeous. Love your blogs!
ReplyDeleteI thought I posted on this before....oh well. Love the Burning Man pics you posted on FB.
I am sorry I can't make it to NOLA, it would have been sooo great. But work got in my way, a student will be with me and I really couldn't get outta that. You will have a fantastic time. Wanted to meet Butta (again) too,as he seems like such a cool dude.
Anyway...excellent blog, as per usual. and can't wait to read your NYT article!!!
Love you, Love DB
Many thanks for the exciting blog posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you are a brilliant
ReplyDeletewriter. I actually added your blog to my favorites and will look forward for more updates.