Saturday, February 9, 2013

Brain Power

photo courtesy of  universal mind power

My neighbor is in the early stages of alzheimer's, or is it dementia? I can't remember. Regardless, losing my mind is one of my fears. That and becoming lactose intolerant and diabetic, and being forced to give up wine and cheese.

In an effort to strengthen my mind, I signed up for Lumosity. Each day I do a series of small, nonthreatening games (I hate games) that work my IQ, memory, cognitive control, concentration, critical thinking and reasoning skills.

Some games I am pretty good at. Others, I suck at. Either way, I feel good about spending 7 to 10 minutes a day strengthening my brain. Next on my list: quads, ass, arms, and abs.

Yesterday, as I entered the lobby of my doctor's office building, 15 minutes late for my appointment, from the corner of my eye I noticed a stack of pennies sitting on top of a thermostat. At the end of my exam I mentioned this to the good doctor, mainly because I was curious if there was some sort of scientific reasoning behind it. Does the copper in the pennies help regulate the temperature?

My doctor confessed that he never notice the pennies or, for that matter, the thermostat. He asked me what the temperature was set at and to my surprise, I knew. It was set to the far right, above 80 degrees.

"How many pennies are on the thermostat?" asked my doctor.

"Eight," I guessed.

On my way out, I stopped and counted the pennies. There were indeed eight pennies stacked one on top of each other and the thermostat registered 69 degrees but was set as high as it could go.

I was half-way out the door when I decided I needed a picture as proof if I were going to blog about it.

As I was about to snap the picture, two 20-something hedge fund hotshots entered the lobby from their first floor, investment firms office door.

"That's a fascinating picture," teased the first baby-faced, money maker.
"Bet she Instagram's it," sneered the other.

They don't realize I get the Instagram reference, having seen the Instagram Youtube parody video just days before.

Ignoring them both, I snapped the picture with my iphone (and yes, later instagrammed it) and strutted out the door.

I wish I waited long enough for the camera to focus but I could feel their snickering on the nape of my neck.

As I headed to my car, my internal dialogue ignited...

Sure, you're good managing other people's money but are you as observant as I am? You manipulate billions of dollars but don't notice the pennies in your lobby? Clearly this Lumosity business is working. My IQ is growing by leaps and bounds. I am brighter than the average hedge fund hotshot...

And then I opened my car door and was reminded of what happened earlier that day.

After a liquid lunch (hot tea, and soup) with Miss Pegged at a restaurant on Greenwich Avenue, we walked back across the street, heading for my car. When I opened the drivers side door I noticed a pair of mans, light tan, leather gloves on the passenger seat and my internal dialogue ignited...

Hey, where did those gloves come from? This black leather interior must be hot in the summer. Nice chrome and tortuous shell trim. Clearly a dog's never seen the inside of this car.

And then it hit me...


Quickly, I jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut. "Who doesn't lock their car!" I yelled.

I took a giant step back and checked to see if the police were behind for me. That's when I noticed that the car was a black, Audi sedan. I drive a navy blue, BMW. And I parked it 8 spots down. The only thing I got right was that we were both parked on the same side of the street.

Probably best if I bump up my lumosity tests. Go for the platinum membership, if there is such a thing. I can't remember.

xo, MonkeyME


  1. You are too funny! I opened the wrong vehicle door last week, but in all honesty it was a white pickup parked right next to mine. And I knew the owner! I play Sudoku, thinking it will keep my mind razor sharp. Post-menopausal minds are not known for being sharp so I have serious admiration for Hillary Clinton and others like her.

    1. I'll have to try Sudoku, I've heard of it!

    2. NOOO!! IT'S LIKE MATH!!! DOn't do it!!!

  2. With any luck, those pennies are a secret signal to a mafioso hitman to proceed with his hit on those two hedge fund suits.

    1. ewwww.... I love the way your mind works Deb!

  3. No one even picks up pennies anymore - I do. My husband used to collect them but we had to move and they were too heavy to move. He had 44,000 pennies. He got angry with me and cashed them in -- now I'm trying to replace them. Impossible! Sudoku -- I'm too stupid, seriously, I can't figure it out.

    Funny piece!

    1. I DO! I pick up pennies. Tail side up ones. They're a sign from my son. 44,000 pennies! how much is that in $$$???

  4. This was great! Not to freak you out or anything but right before I my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I had to pick her up from the parking lot of a craft store because she refused to get out of someone else's car. They were nice enough not to have her arrested =P

    1. ohhhh Elsie.... your poor mom. I didn't want to make fun of people with alzheimer's or dementia, just wanted to make fun of myself so I'm glad you weren't offended by the story :)

  5. What a great story. My .08 Cents?
    Shoulda pinched the pennies.
    Taken a pix of the sniggering losers and had endless fun with it.
    Left a note in the Audi with your blog address.
    Great read!
    ~Just Jill

    1. G R E A T ideas Jill! I need to put myself out there more! :))))

  6. Funny story. I do games to keep my mind active, too. Sadly, I have read that it only means I have the skill to play those games, and that the skills don't transfer. I choose not to believe this. Your noticing the thermostat and coins is a good sign of your observational skills. The car...just a reminder to keep using those skills! And writing it up cleverly, of course, is the real proof that your mind is just fine!

    1. Thanks Blissed! According to Lumosity, I'm observant and flexible. Don't get the flexible part. I made the mistake of checking out where I stand with the rest of the lumosity players my age and well.... it wasn't anything to brag about. But as long as I keep writing I keep smiling :)

  7. lol don't worry jumping in the wrong car, I think we all have that moment. I did that when I owned a Tuarus. It was parked right next to mine. Last night when we left the casino we walked right past my friends car and had to look for it even tho we was parked in the first row. That's bad since none of us was even drinking that night.

    1. its terrible when you can't blame the booze!

  8. They say that to increase your mind's clarity and memory you should park in a new place every time you go to the grocery store etc. Force your mind to remember rather than walk out of habit.

    Sadly, I'd have to walk home.

    I never remember where I park my car. Ever. I'm the chick that drives around clicking her alarm, looking for lights.

    1. really? REALLY???? :) and yet youre smart and funny and you crack me up!!!

    2. Really. :)

      It's almost embarrassing.

  9. Wow! You have a nice car. Can we go driving? ;-)

  10. I think the pennies were a message about 8, 8 things you should do this year.

    a) go to NOLA in April
    b) go to BM in August
    c) go back to NOLA in October
    4) continue your luminosity training so you can keep letters and numbers straight
    5) take Sasha to the dog park
    g) Visit Monkey Gurl...yes, you know where
    h) go back and see if the Audi is for sale, you know I was thinking of getting one...and now that I know it can mistooken for a BMW...well...
    and lastly, keep writing...your blog keeps me smiling, thinking and ...something else...I forget...


    aka Jersey girl...;)

    1. get this MG...

      You know how we were talking about how we are both "doing" luminosity. Take another look. A closer look. I realized it half way through the story... when I went to add the link to the site. It's NOT luminosity... its LUMOSITY! Makes NO sense, right?????

      and I didn't want to throw Miss Pegged under a bus but she was standing next to the Audi, which I think added to my confusion. or maybe it was the lack of wine with lunch. xoxo

    2. OMG...It is Lumosity.....:)

  11. LMBO!!!

    But I agree... who DOESN'T lock their car doors any more!!

    I am curious about the 8 cents on the thermostat though...

    Have a great week!!!


  12. Oh lady, you are always a bright spot in my day:) Can't wait to hear your interpretation of the pennies. (Oh, and I walked around a parking lot for 30 minutes once because I couldn't FIND my car. Almost called the police to report it stolen. I was near tears....then, I remembered that I drove my husband's truck. Yup. There it was.)

  13. I thought you typed, "a stack of penises".

    True story.

  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  16. your opening line is genius! LOL

    “It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”
    Edmund Hillary

    ALOHA from Honolulu
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Photo by Joan Harrison