Sunday, May 31, 2015

For The Birds



Every year, around Mother's day, orioles appear. They are magnificient. If I'm lucky, they will nest in an old birch tree that is rooted just beyond my deck. 

May is a difficult month and the birds comfort me. May is all about Mother's Day and Memorial Day. Memorial Day is the holiday that coincided with the death of my son in 2002.

This Memorial Day, I received a call from David. David is Tinder date number #3. David and I had been canoodling since February of this year. David and I did fun things together. David liked electronic dance music, bar food, and New Orleans. David introduced me to his family, friends and coworkers. I liked David's family, friends, and coworkers. David was well respected by his peers and appeared to be a kind, nurturing father to his three daughters.

David, despite his uncanny resemblance to a toucan, was the perfect Mr. Right Now.


Until he dumped me, on Memorial Day, for "someone better."

David did this knowing it was the anniversary of my son's death. In David's well rehearsed break-up speech, he insisted on telling me how wonderful she made him feel.

And I couldn't help but wonder... how long have I been attracted to selfish men? 

Two weeks before Memorial Day, my soon-to-be-X-husband agreed to stay at my home and watch our dogs while I went to Newport with Toucan David. I came home to find his idiot brother, perched in a lawn chair in the driveway, eating pizza and drinking beer. There was no sign of my soon-to-be-X-husband and the house was trashed.

When I told my idiot, soon-to-be-X-brother-in-law, to leave and he refused, I picked up the garden hose that he had just used to wash his Porsche, and hosed him down. When he yelled in protest, I aimed for his mouth. It was like one of those carnival games, where you aim your water pistol at the clowns mouth.


When I offered to wash the inside of his Porsche, he agreed to leave. The next day, I changed my locks and had an alarm system installed.

On Memorial Day, I set out for a walk and spotted a dead barn sparrow stuck in a glue trap along the neighboring carport rafters where they nest.

I first noticed the traps a few weeks back, but thought they were cardboard cut-outs set to discourage the sparrows from nesting. What a horrific death that must have been (I will not post that picture).


Earlier in May, I was told that the swallows swooped one of the building owners who is handicapped and uses a motorized scooter to get from his car to the building.

I have to assume he approved, if not initiated the trapping, and I find it ironic that a physically disabled person would subject an animal to such barbaric restraints.

On Memorial Day, I called PETA and learned that barn swallows are protected under the "Migratory Bird Act of 1918" and that it is illegal to intentionally kill, injure, or destroy them, their nest, or their eggs.

On Memorial Day, I watched the on-call building maintenance man remove the glue traps.

On Memorial Day, I waited for a call, text, or email from my soon-to-be-X-husband. Thinking surely he would reach out knowing how difficult this day is for me - how difficult this day was for US.

The call never came. But the awakening did.

On Memorial Day, I realized that I have been attracted to selfish men for a very long time.

I have always admired the barn swallows. They are loyal. They are fearless. They are resilient.

And so am I.

xo, Monkey Me 



24 comments:

  1. How symbolic. You freed the birds from the traps that had them stuck, and you freed yourself from the type of man that had you stuck. I say you freed yourself because even if Toucan was the one who said good bye he was never the person you were meant to be with. He is still out there..or could it be....she with no penis???? :) Or maybe, just maybe, for now it's just you being with wonderful, smart funny YOU!!


    Love love love you dearest!!!!!

    xoxoxoxo


    MG

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  2. There are a lot of selfish people in the world. It sounds like you're optimistic and positive enough to keep giving it a go, which is more than I'm sure I'm up for at this point.

    The good news is that we're just a few hours away from June...

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    1. Hi Katy! it's June, it's June!!!! :))))) I am optimistic and positive... on good days. On bad days...well...

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  3. ohh...that bummed me for so many different reasons. Next year...sleep through the holiday. (just a thought)

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    1. ahhh....I'm honored that you read me Author R. Mac Wheeler. We go wayyyyyyyyy back. and sleep is not a bad idea at all.

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  4. Gotten love awakenings, and parrots. Just keep listening to your inner voice, for she surely knows best. So proud of you, Shannon, every step of the way! xoxo

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    1. Thank you Renn! and you're right about the inner voice. mine told me to dump him two weeks earlier. I even wrote the "you've been dumped" email but didn't press send. thought I'd give him another chance. See what happens when you don't listen to that little voice.

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  5. I am sorry it didn't work out but so proud of your growth. Always learning and growing.

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    1. yes, I suppose you can't keep a good monkey down. Miss you!

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  6. I hope June is a much better month for you! Although I did have to laugh about you and the garden hose.

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    1. I thought it was funny when I was doing it. It helped me channel my rage.

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  7. How nice to read a post about stupid men instead of cancer :)
    Happy for you!
    ~D.

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    1. oh... well, without teasing, that one is coming next. but it is nice to focus on a world that does not include cancer. Thank you for reading Dee!

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    1. That means a lot coming from a bird lover such as yourself. I'm still waiting for you sweep me off my feet, ~SHOES! ~

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  9. Dear Minkey, you're awesome. Freeing the sparrow, freeing yourself....xoxoxo miss you and love you! Can't wait to see you in the dust.

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    1. thank you DB! love and miss you too! xoxoxoxoxo

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  10. You really are awesome. And resilient. And I don't know how people can be so cruel, or maybe cluelessly thoughtless, but I know it happens. Sorry you had to deal with it. Again.

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    1. I guess its true what they say.... you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. in my case I had to kiss a toucan. :^

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  11. Men! What are they good for?
    A lot less than they think.
    Stay strong, you're loved!

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  12. Hi Shannon - just noticed that my post somehow did not get onto your page. Weird.

    I think that broad-brush painting is a dangerous game. Not that your post communicated that exactly, but some of the comments seem overly-generalized against half the human species. I know several of them who are loyal, fearless, and resilient. And gentle, kind, forgiving, and honest. Basically not a schmuck. Gherkins aside, there are a lot of fish in the sea (mixing metaphors freely is a hobby of mine).

    Glue traps (both real ones and hypothetical ones) are inhumane. Feeling caught in one is crazy-making. And deadly. Relationships do not survive glue traps, as you have so poignantly described. I hope that somehow you can convert the memories of Memorial Day into something positive for you. It is work, but it is valuable work. Peace to you, my web-friend.

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greenmonkeytales@live.com

Shannon E. Kennedy

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Photo by Joan Harrison