Tuesday, January 18, 2011


.The Stress-Test consists of viewing a photo of 2 Dolphins...
  • The dolphins appear to be nearly identical when viewed by stress-free individuals.  The test is not sufficiently accurate to detect mild stress differentials, but is very accurate on individuals with higher stress-levels.
  • Deviations in appearance between the 2 dolphins are indicators of potential stress-related problems and the deviations, if any, may also indicate the source of stress.
  • If you experience significant deviations, you may want to consider taking things a little easier...

How did YOU do?
Not only did I fail, but to me, the dolphin on the right bares a striking resemblance to a llama!!!  This is proof positive that I am suffering from the worst possible type of stress.


What could be worse?  Knowing you alone created it and then worshiped and wallowed in it!

Instead of writing, I spent a solid week bitching, scheming, ranting and reeling over .....  ???

Egocentric BULLSHIT!!!

I can't admit this anywhere other than here but... I did NOT play nice in the sandbox.

I  abuse capitalization, bold text,  "..."   "!!!"   and  "???"
I repeated words like "REALLY???"... over and over again !!!

I was confrontational, competitive and arrogant.

This mixed with a self diagnosed, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, is a recipe for disaster.

It got so bad that people stopped laughing at my jokes.

Eventually, it turned physical when my fury settled in my lower back.

I woke each morning feeling stiff, tired and beaten.

Desperate to regain my jovial self, on Friday I willingly took part in a Friend-tervention - a liquid laced, extra long weekend, focused on helping me get my wit back.

I knew I was headed in the right direction when I disguised the true identity of my super tall friend, Jay by introducing him as Boris - the non-english speaking Russian, and uber successful inventor of pajama jeans.

Before long, Friday rolled into football, and with that came the much anticipated Jets vs Patriots game.

I am a diehard New Orleans Saints fan.  Whenever they play, I switch my Facebook profile picture to this...

But now that the Saints were out of the playoffs, I needed a new persona.

I decided to auction off my loyalty to anyone willing to give me a new uniform.

This was the clear winner...

Would you look at me!!!   Look at how HOT I am!!! 

Not only do I like the new and improved me, but the response has been so overwhelmingly positive that I may stay in photoshop land... FOREVER!!!

Initially I was worried that the top made my waist look too small or that my bottoms hugged me in all the right places, but the postings of praise allowed me to relax, have an extra slice of pizza, and enjoy my cyber high.

Some credit the Jets surprising victory over the Patriots to my wearing of the green.

And I've been told that, in preparation for next weeks game against the Pittsburg Steelers, I'm getting bigger BOOBS!!!

Hey.... my back feels so much better and I sure do hope I made you smile :)

photoshopped ME courtesy of my jazz lovin' buddy, Jim Quinn

Thanks for making ME smile time and time again!



  1. I'm still not allowing you in my house during future Pats games, no matter how funny/witty you get. -Boris

  2. LOL!!! really??? I guess I don't blame you... I was bad, I admit it.
    but...honestly, forget the wisdom of 6 year olds... DID YOU SEE HOW HOT I LOOK IN MY JETS OUTFIT!!!!

  3. Your post definitely made me smile...and now I'm determined to learn how to use photoshop.

  4. "Boris," I'll bet you let her in with her new bigger boobs.

  5. FIrst I totally saw a cow? WTF.

    and i think its awesome you didnt play well in the sandbox. Your my new idol.

    Love you.

  6. Cracking up at the Boris thing! And that pic makes me think I need to learn to use photoshop!

  7. I taught myself photoshop (very simple things) and then switched from a pc to a mac. since then, its gone.... I need to start all over again. its on my list!

  8. What does it mean when neither look like dolphins? Is it hopeless for me?

  9. Clarissa ~ shot and beer time!
    KitCat commenting on Sandbox! Litter box/ Sand Box I knew that would grab your attention ;)
    Boris and JimQuinn are available for hire @ rentafriend.com

  10. As always my monkey...amazing..... =^..^=

  11. u can always make me smile...

  12. OMG, I thought they were flying pigs! I SO needed that laugh!! Pajama jeans, I wish you could hear me laughing, I'm glad someone else has heard of them :D

    You have your wit back and I thank you.
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  13. I'm just a cow that likes swimming in the water
    Although my friend Flipper says I shouldn't really ought'a.
    Not so much because it was just a lark,
    but because I never know when I'll meet a shark.


  14. How bad is it that I just saw a hamburger?

    Seriously. I am so stuffy right now, I just want to taste something....any thing.... even dolphin. (Relax, the fish kind, not the mammal.)

    And I'm so stressed lately that I'm running with scissors. That's never good.-J

  15. HYSTERICAL!!!! "ink blot" "hamburger" :) everyone is cracking me up today! It's clear I've been serious for wayyyy too long!

  16. What does it mean if you see a dolphin-cow? Multiple personality disorder? What if they're both wearing pajama jeans? Just curious...

  17. SAM..... LOL!!!! MPD or... Gemini. tough call.

  18. A llama???? I see a giraffe. Wow! I need a vacation. And a bottle of vino. Well, I can take care of the latter right now!

  19. first of all... what dolphin?? I don't see no freaking dolphin! (namaste ;)
    second of all: 40 is not the new 30's or 50 the new 40's (and so on)... PHOTOSHOP is the new EVERYTHING!!! who needs to diet when you can look however you want online? don't we all communicate and interact online more often than in person lately?? I rest my case!!! (you definitively made me laugh!)

  20. Hope you continue to feel better!

    It's been a stressful couple of weeks for me, too, and despite what I hear about suffering leading to good writing, I can't write worth a darn when my head and body aren't right.

    But your blog made me smile, and that's a start!

  21. Katy!!! that makes me so happy!!! (there I go abusing the "!!!"s ... I get so heavy sometimes and I bore myself and everyone around me. This post was birthed from a negative place but I made the choice to see the silly side. Here's too SILLY!!!

  22. "PHOTOSHOP IS THE NEW EVERYTHING" ... :) I'm ordering the bumper stickers as we speak. OJ.. thanks for smiling my way! xoxo

  23. I, didn't stop laughing at your jokes...that either says something about me or...yes yes it's me. Ok - we don't "always" have to play nice - sandbox or no sandbox - Rules were meant to be broken! Sorry about your back, but drugs are the key to stress relief there; don't forget prior teenage wisdom. Now with the boobs, you will have to fend off Big Ben with those -- as they say in Balt. Ravens Territory "Ladies, use the buddy sustem for bathroom runs, Big Ben's in town!!!" Have a good weekend!

  24. Buddy system!!! My typing is poor tonight!

  25. SuZQQQQQ :)))))))))))))) I wasn't sure of your identity at first but the "Ravens" gave it away!


    Congratulations, you are the GRAND PRIZE WINNER (a case of middleswarth potato chips are on the way) ... you are the FIRST family member to leave me comment! The blog has only been up for a little over a year, so there is still time for the others to jump in and encourage my joy of writing...

    ohhh Monkeyz jumping up and down today!!!!

  26. Ciao and best wishes for 2011, I am back at last catching up on so much that I missed while I was away from the blogsphere! I love this two dolphins stress test!


Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Shannon E. Kennedy


Photo by Joan Harrison