My mother named me after a character in a Mickey Spillane novel. Shannon was a prostitute. My father wanted me to be named Moire, in gaelic it means Star of the Sea, but my mother would have no part of that. "Everyone will make fun of her," she'd say, "they'll ask, do you want More a this or More a that?"
You'll find no Shannon's in Ireland - it is not a true Irish name. In Ireland, it is the name of a river and an airport. Even so, it's fun to fly from Kennedy airport to Shannon airport and return home flying from Shannon to Kennedy.
As a kid I liked my name until a song came out called, Shannon is Gone. The lyrics were about the death of Beach Boy, Carl Wilson's Irish Setter. The single became a worldwide hit and after that, everyone and their cousin started naming their dogs Shannon.
When I was young, I dreamed of having two children, a girl and a boy. I wanted my son to be named Kerry, after my brother who died when he was very young. I chose the name Amber Essence for my daughter. When I got a older I realized it sounded too much like shampoo (Herbal Essence) so I changed the name to Katherine, after a great aunt that I adored.
My second born, a girl, is named Lindsay Katherine Fong. Her father loved the name Lindsay and I understood how important little girls were to their fathers, so I agreed that he should pick her name.
My then mother-in-law, wanted us to call her Dorothy, after the little girl in the Wizard of Oz. As much as I love that movie I was not going to name my daughter after a character in a book or a movie, especially since, with her thick asian accent, she pronounced the name "Door Dee."
Instead she would call her only granddaughter, "Rindsay."
In keeping with asian tradition, her Grandmother gave her her Chinese name. She chose Ling Ling (or, "Ring Ring") after the famous panda bears. Most of Lindsay's close friends call her Ling. I still call her by her newborn nickname, Pumpkin.
My half-sister Lenore (named after her father Leonard), once told me that my daughter would be destine for greatness if I call her Katherine but if I name her Lindsay, no one would take her seriously. "Lindsay sounds too flighty," she said. Turns out Lindsay is a bit flighty, and I like that about her. She is also a force to be reckoned with, and I like that about her too.
My sister Colleen has no middle name. I've always wondered about that. Did they run out of ideas? I think Colleen Elizabeth Kennedy sounds nice, but they saved Elizabeth for me.
Colleens ex-husband is a twin. His name is Paul and his brothers name is Peter. Their middle names are A and B. The one who came out first was named "A" and the second born was named "B." That's weird, don't you think?
Speaking of weird, strange or bizarre...
I once had a friend named Rose. Everyone called her Rosey. Her last name was Lipps. Rosey Lipps, how strange/sweet.
I know a man named Richard. His last name is Dicky. They call him Dick Dicky. His sisters name is Lisa. They call her Licky Dicky.
I once interviewed a woman for a job as my assistant. Her name was Jane. She seemed great and I seriously considered hiring her until she told me her son's name. It is Rector. Rector is a terrible name. I don't care if it's a family name. I don't want to hear about Rector. I don't want to see Rector embroidered on his LLBean backpack. I don't want to hear about how Rector got the shit kicked out of him during recess.
The next woman I interviewed was named Kate. Kate seemed great and I seriously considered hiring her until she told me her daughters name. It is Violet. Violet is a terrible name. I certainly hope it's not a family name. Sorry, but I don't want to hear about Violet. In my twisted mind, Violet is a strippers name, and I don't want to hear about Violet riding a pole with a set of DD's.
Besides, Violet's mom chewed with her mouth open. Violet would no doubt follow in her mothers footsteps. Violet the stripper, with her mouth open, swinging from a pole, with a set of double DD's. NOPE... I don't want to hear about it.
When I interviewed Miss Pegged, over lunch, I asked her what her childrens names were. They are Jake and Tyler. "You're hired!" I told her.
I had several people applying for security guard positions this week. Two, stood out.
The first one's name is "Bah T.A." Yep, thats what his resume says. Can I hire someone the week before Christmas who's name is Bah? I'm afraid if I have him come in for an interview I'll call him, Baaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.
The other applicant that stood out is a man who called claiming his name is... (wait for it)... Sheelove Boudi. I asked him to repeat it. I then I asked him to repeat it a third time. I was convinced it was a prank call. I had to see for myself what this Sheelove Boudi was all about, so I had him come in for an interview.
I told my husband about Sheelove Boudi and he said, "I love Boudi too!"
Turns out Sheelove spells his last name, B O U Z I.
I told my husband Sheeloves' last name is Bouzi and he said, "I love Boozi too!"
I asked Sheelove if he had any children. He does not. I asked him if he did have children would he be willing to consult me prior to naming them. He said he would.
I once hired a man named Rockstar. He didn't show up for his first day of work.
I once hired a man named Doddie. He got caught on the job with his shirt off (long story) and I had to fire him.
I think if I can hire a man named Rockstar and Doddie, that Sheelove deserves a chance.
What about you? What is the strangest name you've ever heard and do you think a name seals your fate?