Vanity, Gluttony, Extravagance, Sloth, Envy, Wrath, Lust
Interestingly, the Seven Beautiful Sins each played a role in today's writing challenge - to post 10 Random Honest Things about ME.
This was spawned by "Kerri" from Kerri's Klutter, who gave me an HONEST SCRAP award for being an authentic writer. Thank you Kerri :)
But this award came with strings. After listing these 10 Random Honest Things, I've been instructed to pass the award onto 10 equally deserving Bloggers.Honestly, this sounds way too much like chain mail, which I loath, so I'm abbreviating the task to ONE WELL DESERVING writer.
And the winner is.....
Christie (or so she says)
Her site is called,
Mommy
Drinks
Because
You
Cry.
Is it me, or is that THE best Blog Title you've ever heard!!!
Check her out, she's real and refreshing. But don't like her more than me and I'll miss you while your gone (really).
Wait....!!! Before you go, read me (please)...
I must confess, I was not alone when I wrote today's post. Chelsea Handler and Chuy were in bed with me. (did I mention I have an active imagination?) Yesterday my 100th [FOLLOW] er told me that someone she knew read me and thought I was funny. She even went as far as to compare me to Chelsea Handler. WHAT... I love her!
So make room Kittay, Miss Lucy, Oprah, Evander and Barack, here comes ..... Chelsea (I'm leaving Chuy on the floor).
In true, late night fashion here are...
10 Random Honest Things about Green Monkey
(truth is way harder than fiction)
- I like to pee in the shower. I don't care where it goes once it leaves my drain. It's fun to stand and pee.
- I care way too much about what other people think of me. Especially when it comes to my writing. I try not to, but I do. You like my writing, right?
- Faking orgasms is fun! I like orgasms more than I like faking them, but sometimes that little actress in me enjoys hearing herself moan. (hint to husband...its not "typical" to have more than three orgasm in one romp)
- I once had two "dates" in one day...on (not so) Good Friday... and one was Jewish.
- I don't stop at CROSS WALKS (its a state law in CT) if it looks as though you've got nowhere special to go, or... if you're going nowhere fast.
- I am competitive to a fault and suffer from occasional bout of unruly jealousy (why that clever "Mommy Drinks Because you Cry" bitch, I'll get her!).
- I once coerced a couple into NOT buy the condo beside us because "she" was Pakistani and I loath the smell of curry. (that silky hair and a fabulous ass wasn't help her one bit)
- I don't call my mother as often as I should and I feel terrible about it. (lets see if she REALLY reads my blog)
- If I'm lonely, I'll watch reruns of Sex and The City, drink a bottle of wine, and wash it down with a sleeve (or two) of Oreo's.
- I'm not loyal and have no respect for the sanctity of marriage. The only reason I'm "in a relationship" with my husband is because I love him. If I wasn't happy, I'd be gone.
Green Monkey Tales © 2010 Shannon E. Kennedy
photo's courtesy of Google Image
for reading and commenting
OMGosh! You sinner! That will be about a bazillion Hail Marys! ;-)
ReplyDeleteha!!! it takes one to know one Angie! :)
ReplyDeletehey, who's Hail Mary?
I love your writing! You DA Bomb, honey!!!
ReplyDeletePlease fake an orgasm for me today.
That was well worth the stop. So refreshing.
ReplyDeleteI, too, go that "honest award" and was thinking it felt more like a chain letter or a punishment, but was too afraid to say it, worrying I would offend the giver and seem ungrateful. Thank you for saying what I couldn't.
I also hate the smell of curry. I understand the motive. And eating near grotesque people is a serious turnoff. Agreed.
Thanks for this little peek into your world.
Ah, dear blogger buddy, Hail Mary is well know to the Catholic sinner such as myself. My knees stay sore (get your mind out of the gutter), my beads are worn (I said get your mind out of the gutter), and my Hail Marys are plentiful!
ReplyDeleteI hate the smell of curry too. I like the taste but the smell lingers forever! You can rival Meg Ryan's performance, huh? If peeing in the shower is that remarkable, I do say I might just give it a go.
ReplyDeleteI love your ten things! You've given me the courage to admit that I too pee in the shower. It's the only chance I get to pee standing up, and to me it's a time saver (granted the time save could probably be counted in seconds, but still).
ReplyDeleteI have some awards for you on my blog as well!
i'm more competivite than you!
ReplyDeletethe smell of curry is right up there with fresh pussy.
(sorry i don't modify my behavior, or censor myself).
three O's/romp is not normal. oh shit, i've been living a lie.
gotta run, i gotta go shower and pee!
piko!
Wow sounds like its all about you. Sorry the rest of us get in your way.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, don't feed Piko - he's dangerous!
ReplyDeleteno, but seriously, he enjoys shocking people. And, oddly....he's one of my closest friends :) he's twisted I tell ya!
Bossy, mission accomplished! (and before 8:00 am I might add!)
ReplyDeleteElle, THANK YOU! I'll work on my reply from Grand Cayman's - somewhere between snorkeling and sex on the beach.
Blue, thanks for making me feel comfortable in my own skin.
Angie, I KNEW you were a sinner!
Piko...well of course your "dish" smelled like curry. This is why I don't dabble in it, if you eat it you wear it. or, if you eat it, he eats it... CURRY is NOT for me!
ReplyDeleteAngie... I changed my #4 to explain why I know what Hail Mary's are. Sometimes I'm only funny in my mind. I always feel like I'm taking a big risk when I try write something that I think is funny. I changed #4 because I didn't want to offend handicapped or obese people - but then I tossed in a Jew.
i think i'm gonna learn how to twirl a baton...to outdo you in camp! fire baton!
ReplyDeletemommy look at me!
seriously---you guys have fun in the sun, spf50!
piko!
Oh, I'm going to LIKE you!
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm just stopping by to thank you for visiting and following my blog. I really, really appreciate it! I'm so glad you did, it brought me back her to your fun, wonderful site! I'm your newest follower, cheers!!
Your list had me cracking up- dh kept asking me what I was looking at.
ReplyDeleteStopping by to welcome you to SITS!
Sorry I missed what Piko said...must of been bad...sorry I missed it.
ReplyDeleteYou did say to "give me my pennants. Come on, I can take it..."
I was just spanking your back side a bit...you can take it. I'm still following...I'm not a baby. ;)
Oh I looked back and get it now...a little pussy sniffer never scares me ....I was giving you shit.
ReplyDelete