ANTI SOCIAL NETWORKING - CONFESSIONS OF A CRAZED BLOGGER

It’s time I come clean - lay it all out on the line.  My name is Shannon, aka Green Monkey, and I have a Blog Addiction Disorder, which means...I'm BAD.  It's more than a virus, and worse than spam. I am a full blown Blog Aficionado.

I crave followers, fans, comments and tweets. When I get one, its like a shot of adrenaline and I ride that instant gratification high as long as I can.

Currently, I'm in a state of hyper paranoia.  I’m convinced no one is tweeting me, I don’t have enough followers and I’m jonesin' for more fans.

I spend countless hours tweaking and promoting my blog.   I google the words "green" and "monkey" over and over again, so that it will appear higher on the search engine list.  If I'm NOT on page 1 - I'll pout.

Attention grabbing headers, soothing sidebars, buttons, badges, gadgets and widgets.   Formats and photo’s - upload, download, crop, resize, reposition, add text, and adjust the hue.   

I am so focused on my STATs that I hit myself often and watch the counter climb.  Page loads, unique visitors, returning visitors… my mood is in sync with the rise and fall of tri-colored scales.

Facebook, Twitter, Blogfrog, Blissdom, SITS tips, secrets and share fests. 

My site, your site, I’ll follow you if you follow me, one good comment deserves another...

Bloggers that specialize in "Blogging Tips" will tell you to “build and nurture your community" but developing my blog base now overshadows sleep, exercise, sex and any real time/face to face human interaction. (notice I still have time for wine and cheese)

Last week, I cut my hair extra short so I’d spend less time primping and more time posting.

I’ve stopped reading bloggers simply because I enjoy them.  I now read and comment on anyone I think will comment back.  It’s exhausting and half the time... I’M FAKING IT! I’ll read half a post, or reword some else's comments (pure plagiarism).

I feel like I showed up late for a race -  injured and dehydrated, and I'm desperately trying to catch up.  

Blogging...like it or not, is HOT.  Blogging...is BIG business.

There are currently over 10.5 million blogs on wordpress alone and we're all struggling to get "real time."  

The new hype is something called "PuSH" which stands for
Pubsubhubbub, a realtime protocol designed to speed up RSS.  To us Big Time wanttabe bloggers - reading this makes our palms sweat and our hearts palpitate. 

Established, highly read, and closely followed bloggers are the internet junkies version of the ultimate martini.  One Part Vegas Entertainer, two parts Pulitzer Prize winner, and a fresh slice of Hollywood hottie - clinging to the side.

Surprised?  Think I'm delusional?  Well, it is a well googled fact that blogging has out passed Porn, 3 to 1! 

But don't despair, Porn blogging is on the rise (no pun intended).  A site called "Boing Boing" targets "wife swappers, exhibitionists, whores, and people who need to hide their porn."  One word people...BRILLIANT!  

The largest, by far, bloggers are stay at home mommies.  NOT that there is anything wrong with THAT - the LAST thing I want to do is piss these ladies off!  They have both hands on the keyboard and they're holding all the power.  

They blog about everything from poopy pants to party favors.   They are united in weight loss, quilt making, The LORD (yep, even "Mr. Big" is in on it) flower arrangements, recipe's, craft projects, menopause, bankruptcy, divorce, and infertility.  

There are even blogs that rally in support and prayer of the terminally ill, as was the case of  Layla Grace, a two year old little girl who recently passed from Neuroblastoma - a rare cancer that develops from nerve tissue in infants.   Her family chronically her illness and their pain in addition to raising awareness, funding and support.  

Her death was announced in an online Twitter post to 42,000 of her fans. 

A lot of good comes out of blogs - a lot of healing and emotional support.  But, be warned - there are wild packs of trolls who target vulnerable bloggers.  You'll recognize them by their negative comments.  I do my best to ignore them (realizing that they too crave attention) or, if I'm feeling freaky, I'll dowse them in positive, glowing energy.  Hey, trolls move along - go get your own blog!

For many bloggers, their main motivation is making money. This is so NOT me. My master plan is to try and get YOU to read ME.  Ultimately, I want to update my bio to include “published author.”  The way I see it, if it worked for Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote Eat Pray Love and Julie in the movie Julie, Julia then it can work for me too!

This race to become a Big Time Blogger has taken me way off track.  At the start, I was a woman in search of her true voice.  A woman who made the conscious decision to believe in herself.   But lately, I’ve become more focused on getting noticed then being a writer.

It's time to go back to where my dreams began. Back to that moment when, at the age of 12, I stood in front of my dresser mirror and said for the first time, out loud, “I am a writer.”

I am a writer.  I write random thoughts and short stories.  Some are funny, some are sad, some are mildly entertaining and some are masterpieces - if only in my mind. 

I write for the pure pleasure of writing, regardless of whether someone reads it, or comments on it, or publishes me.   I am still, and always will be, a writer. 

***

Green Monkey Tales © 2010 Shannon E. Kennedy


photo's courtesy of Google image




To read more about the battle of Layla Grace: laylagrace.org 

Are YOU with me?: Ten Signs That You May Be a Blog Addict 

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