Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Phoebe's on Facebook

I write in bed - propped up by a tower of down pillows and layered in 1200 count, soothing french blue sheets and a matching cashmere blanket.  If I'm lucky my cat will curl up beside me, her purr synced perfectly with the tap, tap, tap of my laptop.

Here, from my MacBook Pro, I journal, compose short essay, anecdotal blog posts, self imposed writing assignments, and attend to my memoir.

And sometimes, when I'm feeling flighty, I flirt with Facebook.

Facebook goes well with a glass of wine, husband by my side, and a sluggish night of television.  Instead of leaving the room during golf, formula one racing, or baseball, I pacify myself with status updates, photo comments, threads, links, notes and video posts.

But lately, Facebook has been interfering with my morning writing ritual - especially now that my cat has become attracted to the roaming images that pop up during Facebook surfing.  So much so that she curls up, on top of my keyboard, and stares directly at the screen.

This could only mean one thing... Phoebe wants her own Facebook page.

It seemed simple enough.  All she needed was an email account (bogartincognito@gmail.com) and a top-secret password (biggiefurballs).

She did, however, have to lie about her age.  According to the rules of Facebook, you must be at least 13 years old.  I explained that most women, at one point or another, adjusted their age, so Phoebe felt ethically comfortable rounding up.

After feeding information into her profile, I realized Phoebe's a lot more savvy than I gave her credit for.

She has a broad range of interests that include; fast moving objects, small insects, rodents, and Tai Chi (who knew!) and, apparently when we're not watching, she's busy hunting, fishing, birdwatching, and patrolling the neighborhood.

She has an opinion on politics, religion, health-care reform and pound puppies.  She claims she reads books (highly unlikely) and watches more on television than just the Animal Planet.

We went through dozens of photo's before Phoebe found one that didn't accentuate her pouch.  In this pose, she liked the way the blossoms highlighted the fresh while fur on her paws, neck, and underbelly.

Once live, Phoebe's first stop was YouTube.  She found clips of crazy cats romping it up, mounds of animal humor, and her favorite "Cat and Dog Walking" - footage of this sultry kitty taking a walk on the wild side.

But Phoebe was missing one thing...friends.

Sure, I'd be her pal, but who else would be willing to friend a feline?

I began by approaching my daughter who abruptly informed me that I was a "looser."  Annoyed by her dismissal, I wagered that by the end of a month, Phoebe would out trump her friend count.

My daughter currently has over 1,200 friends, so this could prove to be a bit of a challenge. But come on, we all know that I LOVE a challenge!

Would it be weird if I asked my friends to be Phoebe's friends?

What if I just asked my good friends, friends that won't judge me, and/or are slightly entertained by me?

After doing so, Phoebe's friend count was up to 12.

I started doing searches for screen names that began with the word "cat" or contain the word "cat." Assuming anyone with "cat" in their name would be open to befriending a cat, I feverishly sent out friend requests.

I was interrupted by a unassuming Facebook notification, asking if I knew these Cats, which I blatantly ignored.  Shortly thereafter, I was interrupted by a second prompt, this one warning me that soliciting friends you did not know personally could be considered spam.  Hell, I don't know half my Facebook friends personally, so I ignored this as well.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Phoebe got in trouble with Facebook!

Haaaaaa.......   :)

Phoebe's Facebook account was frozen - for two days.

This was unacceptable in the world according to Phoebe.  Anytime I opened my laptop, she was right there - pushing her whiskers into the screen and flipping her tail at me, as though it was my fault.

I started doing cat searches from my own account.  Not only people with CAT or KITTY in their name, but I included those who listed cats as one of their interest.  I then transferred this information onto a spread sheet for future reference.

When her punishment was finally lifted, I sent emails, instead of friend requests, to everyone on our cat list.

And then I waited.

After 27 hours, her friend count remained at 12.

Where were all these cats and why were they ignoring Phoebe's messages?

Further investigation turned up the following fact.

Cats are clueless when it comes to Facebook.

Don't believe me?

Here's the proof...

But not Phoebe.  Phoebe has it all figured out.

Even so, to date, Phoebe still has only 12 19 45 friends.  At this rate, I'm going to be the never ending butt of my daughters jokes.

So, if you can find it in your heart to help a kitty out, please consider friending Phoebe on Facebook.

You can find her under  Phoebe Fong.

Although lately, I'm questioning her motives and wondering if this was a good idea after all.

Images courtesy of google image



  1. I'll do some lobbying and see what I can do about getting her more friends.

  2. I quit facecrack, was wasting too much time there. Warn Phoebe it can be a giant sinkhole of time. However, if she'd like to join the 365 fan page, she's more than welcome. Does Phoebe drink beer?

  3. Phoebe can pound um down like there's no tomorrow (plus, she's got a filthy mouth. oh she is absolutely joining the 365 fan page! Thanks Marty :)

  4. you are so cute!! I have a friend who recently sent me an invite (or should I say, his CAT Rocky, sent me an invite to become friends in FB)!! so this is the second time I've seen this in a matter of one week...it should mean something! I'll add her and suggest Rocky as her friend ;)

  5. Well, no. I don't do too much face book. But if I did, I would definitely be Phoebe's friend.

    I'm glad she has a real friend like you, who writes about her exploits with such respect and good humor.

    Such a cute post!

  6. Myrna, I'm so glad you liked the post!

    OJ, that is so funny, that this is your second cat request in one week! WHAT are the odds!

  7. This was just TOO funny. My dogs have dogbook pages, so no you are not weird. I'll try to remember to friend Ms Phoebe Fong :D
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  8. Hey, I'll friend her! I can use all the friend I can get, even if its a cat. Ha! To funny...I wonder what her updates will look like? "licking my tail is an all day job" :)

  9. What a delightful post. Phoebe is beautiful. I think you should set her up with an account on Match.com. ;)

  10. I am so sorry to hear about Phoebe's friend problem ;) I know I don't have a cat name (& have been know to hang out with a dog or two), but I'll totally Friend Phoebe...

    Thanks for the fun post!

  11. GREAT status update idea Michelle! :) Phoebe, at times, has a bad attitude.

    Sam, Jules, Michelle...Thanks for friending her (that should make her purr)

  12. Sorry Shannon.. I dont have a facebook account.. But I will call her my friend from today:)
    The post is hilarious... And the pic of her digging her face in books is amazing!

  13. Thanks Arti! :) loving knowing I made someone smile...

  14. Well, I think most cats are kind of a bit stand offish for social networking. Hopefully her friend count will grow, especially since she picked a really flattering profile photo!

    My husband watches the Formula 1 too. Thank goodness for blogging when that's on, eh?

  15. Hilarious, Shannon!! I'm probably going to be exiting Facebook, for good, sometime soon. I'm never there,,,,cuz I blog instead! And I've heard too many "bad" things about it lately. Thanks for the very cute post!

  16. What a fun post. It made me smile. Off to friend Phoebe. :)
    Stopped by from New England Bloggers to say hi!

  17. I'm pretty sure she's older than 13 in cats years, so no ethics violated! Love your writing! :)

  18. OMC THIS IS SOOOOO CUTE! I have to follow your blog now!! ADORABLE! Love your writing!

    Thanks so much for visiting us, we are now your newest followers!


Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Shannon E. Kennedy


Photo by Joan Harrison