Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Out of the Box

I have zero interest in going anywhere on the weekends thanks to wine, an attentive husband, entertaining pets, and an active imagination.

Late Friday afternoon a large, heavy box arrived at my doorstep.  It was addressed to my husband and had a big red RUSH HANDLE WITH CARE sticker on it.

What a G R E A T way to kick off a weekend!

I thought about texting him to find out what was in it, but decided to wait until he got home from work.

What is heavy, must be handled with care, and is so important that it should be delivered with rapid speed?

With his loafers off and a french martini in hand, it's time to play...


The game begins as it always does, with seven questions (no more, no less).

ME: Did you order it online?

ME: Were you buzzed when you ordered it?  (he buys Puma sneakers when he's buzzed)

ME:  Is it for me?

ME: Does it require batteries?

ME: Did you find it on a porn site?

ME:  If I drop it in the tub will I die?
MARK:  YES, don't drop it in the tub

ME:  Do I get to decide where we put it?

I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being disappointed by what I saw - a table saw.

He carefully positions it on the livingroom ottoman, and I imagine it staying there until Christmas.

The empty box becomes the cats new toy - in the box, out of the box, in the box, out.

Two martini's later, I get a text from the daughter:

Can I come by to use your bathroom and get socks please?

Sorry, I'm in a box right now


You heard me


yes, come over.  we're home

of course you're home, you're always home

Anyone can jump in and out of the box, but at my age and with my expandable frame, can I fit inside the box?

ME: Honey, close the lid
MARK:  What?

ME: Close the lid please
MARK: Why?

ME: Lindsay's on her way over

Two minutes and two toe cramps later, my daughter arrives.

LINDSAY:  Hi Mark, where's Mom
MARK: She's in the box

This is my cue to pop out of the box.  


She barely blinks.  

ME: I fit inside that box!

ME: Did I surprise you?
LINDSAY: Nothing you do surprises me anymore

She stays long enough to warm her toes and wet her whistle.

At 21, I'm thrilled anytime she stops by, regardless of how long.

It's not easy raising a daughter.  First she idolized me, then she despised me.  I've been patiently waiting for her to tolerate me.

Half-hour later I receive another text...

So weird, I tried to explain you in the box to my friend but she didn't understand.

So I text her the pictures.

Alright, have fun being out of the box!  Love you xoxo 

Actual video of Shannon jumping out of a now beat up box.  

Special thanks to my buddy ZOC for filming, and for joining in on the fun.


  1. Haha! You are hilarious... and pretty damn flexible too :-)

  2. I was thinking... now what are the odds of a gal in a black bikini hopping out of that box???



  3. That is exactly what I would have done with that box, and my girls wouldn't have batted an eyelid either.

    For some unfathomable reason I thought it was going to be a tortoise, I have no idea why.

  4. Sarah, that is hysterical! I would have been so happy if a tortoise was in there! I am a self proclaimed turtle lover.(how did you know)

    Shoes....oh, oh... if a more flexible, fit, bikini wearing woman was in there......well, I'd be single again for sure!

    Nat, good to hear from you! love the support from my fellow monkey! Thank you for reading and commenting!

  5. If I wasn't there to witness the shenanigans for myself, I'd have thought you were crazy. Wait, I still think that! (P.S. Mr. Cooked knows to have the bikini clad bendy women shipped across the river.)

  6. but she's NOT BLOND MR. ANONYMOUS!!!!

  7. This was great! Loved every bit of this post....:>)

  8. Hmm, now I'm wondering whether I could get into a box like that. I think I could, but I'd never get out again. Funny story! And someday your daughter will brag about you doing that.

  9. I'm glad you took pictures, 'cause I always think of you as someone who thinks outside the box.

    Be patient, your daughter is learning to just accept who Mom is. Mine took a while, but now she knows that without my craziness her life would be dull.

  10. Oh! You have no idea how many boxes I've been put in over the years!

    But the real question is...

    Can I come over and use the table saw?

  11. you ARE fun!

    Warm Aloha from Waikiki;

    Comfort Spiral

    / )

    > < } } ( ° >

  12. I started laughing about halfway through. You have a place in my circus! You, and Milo.. I bet Mark has an amazing talent, too...

  13. "Mark.... MARK!!! I'm joining the circus!!!!"

    you're comments are cracking me up! such clever readers you all are!

    (((((THANK YOU!))))))))

  14. Don't worry about it. Your daughter will think you're awesome again once she has kids of her own. Anyway, I can't say that with my teenagers I haven't thought about hiding in a box. Or maybe putting them in a box?

  15. Cottage..... come ON! you're teenagers are awesome! thank you for reading and commenting. you have such a lovely community by the sea!


Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Shannon E. Kennedy


Photo by Joan Harrison