I have zero interest in going anywhere on the weekends thanks to wine, an attentive husband, entertaining pets, and an active imagination.
Late Friday afternoon a large, heavy box arrived at my doorstep. It was addressed to my husband and had a big red RUSH HANDLE WITH CARE sticker on it.
What a G R E A T way to kick off a weekend!
I thought about texting him to find out what was in it, but decided to wait until he got home from work.
What is heavy, must be handled with care, and is so important that it should be delivered with rapid speed?
With his loafers off and a french martini in hand, it's time to play...
GUESS WHATS IN THE BOX
The game begins as it always does, with seven questions (no more, no less).
ME: Did you order it online?
ME: Were you buzzed when you ordered it? (he buys Puma sneakers when he's buzzed)
ME: Is it for me?
ME: Does it require batteries?
ME: Did you find it on a porn site?
ME: If I drop it in the tub will I die?
MARK: YES, don't drop it in the tub
ME: Do I get to decide where we put it?
I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being disappointed by what I saw - a table saw.
He carefully positions it on the livingroom ottoman, and I imagine it staying there until Christmas.
The empty box becomes the cats new toy - in the box, out of the box, in the box, out.
Two martini's later, I get a text from the daughter:
Can I come by to use your bathroom and get socks please?
Sorry, I'm in a box right now
You heard me
yes, come over. we're home
of course you're home, you're always home
Anyone can jump in and out of the box, but at my age and with my expandable frame, can I fit inside the box?
ME: Honey, close the lid
ME: Close the lid please
ME: Lindsay's on her way over
Two minutes and two toe cramps later, my daughter arrives.
LINDSAY: Hi Mark, where's Mom
MARK: She's in the box
This is my cue to pop out of the box.
She barely blinks.
ME: I fit inside that box!
LINDSAY: So I see
ME: Did I surprise you?
LINDSAY: Nothing you do surprises me anymore
She stays long enough to warm her toes and wet her whistle.
At 21, I'm thrilled anytime she stops by, regardless of how long.
It's not easy raising a daughter. First she idolized me, then she despised me. I've been patiently waiting for her to tolerate me.
Half-hour later I receive another text...
So weird, I tried to explain you in the box to my friend but she didn't understand.
So I text her the pictures.
Alright, have fun being out of the box! Love you xoxo
Actual video of Shannon jumping out of a now beat up box.
Special thanks to my buddy ZOC for filming, and for joining in on the fun.