All choices lead you somewhere. Bold choices take you where you're supposed to be.
Wisdom courtesy of Jim Beam.
On this particular evening, my wisdom came from french martinis (vodka, chambord, pineapple juice) and oaky chardonnay.
BOLD CHOICE NUMBER ONE
During last weekends playdate with friends - a ruckus that included the rally at Time Square and an Irish Pub crawl - I thought it might be fun to take a pedicab ride back to Grand Central.
BOLD CHOICE NUMBER TWO
Because we were three and a pedicab holds two, I chose to squat and balance on the connecting, center shaft of the pedicab while we whirled down 6th Avenue.
BOLD CHOICE NUMBER THREE
Because I'm security conscious, I zipped my handbag shut prior to take off.
Because of this precaution, when the pedicab swerved right and my purse fell off, its contents stayed in place.
I, however, did not.
I followed my purse, to the ground.
I rolled with it, until I got caught up under it (pedicab), and then dragged for a bit.
The details are a bit blurry. All I can tell you for certain is that I smiled during the entire ordeal, and that my head never hit the ground.
I can also tell you the width of a pedicab. It measures from the bottom of my shoulder blades to the lower part of my thighs (evident by the tire marks).
And here is an important bit of advice... if you are ever in a situation where your friend is falling out of a pedicab - the correct word to use is STOP.
For fucks sake do NOT yell, "Don't run over the Monkey!" This will only confuse the driver, especially if English is his second language.
BOLD CHOICE NUMBER FOUR
Had I remained sober the outcome of my Shannonigans could have been disastrous.
We all know it's hard to roll when you're frozen in fear. By keeping myself well lubricated/inebriated, not only did I roll with it, I kept my toes pointed and had jazz hands.
In a split second, I made the BOLD choice to roll under the pedicab, as opposed to out, into oncoming traffic.
I also calculated (without the use of my iphone), the exact weight of both my friends (must get lighter friends), PLUS the weight of the pedicab, and determined that if I could avoid the important body parts such as (sing it with me) head, shoulders, knee's and toes, knees and toes.... I would probably survive.
And guess what, it's true, it's true - I am alive! Nothing is broken and I got an entertaining blog post out of it. (see the great lengths I go through to gain and maintain readers)
There is one very sad revelation that came out of all this.
I've lost my shock value.
When I first reported this story to family and friends I clearly stated...
"I fell out of a pedicab, got run over by it, and dragged by it"
Here are some of their responses:
Daughter Lindsay: When do we leave for New Orleans?
Daughter-in-law Mary: Might be time to detox.
Miss Pegged: You know, if I was there it would have been me.
Boris (Russian friend who invented pajama jeans): I made great guacamole for football game.
Supervisor Phil: Reminds me of that song, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer..."
Total lack of sympathy!
The only person who reacted appropriately was husband, Mark - probably because he was able to see my injuries (including a nasty brush-burn on my back and a swollen coxic bone)
Husband: This is how people die Dear. Don't do that again.
Lets see where tomorrows bold choices will take me.
Robin and Rose with our pedicab driver
(evidence of my disheveled state - exposed sweater label)
Not only did we NOT report him, we tipped him.
Because we need to own our choices
For those of you who might decide to take a pedicab ride:
NEW YORK CITY DEPARTMENT OF CONSUMER AFFAIRS
42 Broadway | New York, NY 10004 | nyc.gov/consumers
PEDICAB ACCIDENT REPORT
If a pedicab accident occurs and someone is killed or is injured and requires medical treatment, the pedicab driver must immediately: 1) call 911 to report the accident or report the accident to the police officer on the scene or at the nearest police station AND 2) notify the pedicab business owner. Immediately upon notification, the pedicab business owner must: 1) confirm with the pedicab driver that the accident has been reported to the police AND 2) notify the Department of Consumer Affairs about the time and location of the accident and any death or injuries requiring medical treatment. Call (212) 487-8768 OR fax notification to (718) 935-6516 OR e-mail email@example.com. The pedicab driver must give his/her name, address, and information about liability insurance coverage to any person sustaining physical injury or property damage in a pedicab accident.
Whether or not an accident involved death or injury, within 24 hours after the accident, submit this form to the Department of Consumer Affairs using the fax or e-mail information above. This form must be signed by both the pedicab business owner (or his or her agent) and the pedicab driver involved in the accident.