Clearing Out My Clutter

The last thing he said to me was "stick that in your pipe and smoke it you fat ass bitch" and that's why I wore a double layer of Spanx to his funeral.

***

I regret not seeing him before he died. Of course, I didn't know he was going to die. I don't think he knew he was going to die either. I've been writing about him for the past four days but other than that opening line, it's not flowing and I can't get it right.

To clear my mind, I've decided to take Julianna's lead at Surviving Boys and focus on some of the random clutter that's going on inside my head.  Most of it is silly.

Someone found their way to my blog by googling BIRD GENITALIA.  Who in their right mind wants to look at bird genitalia?  And why would a search engine point in my direction?  Sure, I did a post that included some BIRD PORN but it didn't take them there.  It took them to a post called THE DANCE.  Yes, there were some pictures of men's cocks in that post but no bird cocks.  No birds appeared anywhere in this post. The whole thing is bizarre!

Should I change my profile picture from this...

to this?

The one I am using now is about 5 years old and I don't have that hat anymore. Am I misrepresenting myself by using that cowgirl, Burning Man picture?  Should I stick with something that represents the blog more then it does me - be more incognito?

Can a man be bi-curious and not be gay?  Why do some men deny their true sexuality?  Is it possible to deny your sexuality and live a satisfying, joyful life?   

And...

Can a woman be bi-curious and not be gay?  YES 

Why do women deny their true sexuality?  FEAR

Is it possible to deny your sexuality and live a satisfying, joyful life?  I can't speak for others but for me, I would not feel satisfied if I did not honor my sexuality.  Sex is too important to me.  

I recently noticed that a very practical friend of mine owned a pair of non-practical shoes - Jimmy Choo's to be specific.  They are gorgeous but for the life of me I can't understand how women balance in them, let alone walk in them. 

There is a woman I see at Starbucks almost every morning.  She's probably my age but she's so well preserved that she looks 10 years younger.  She dresses impeccably, stands tall, and always wears heels.  I imagined she kicked them off the minute she got in her car - only wearing them for short spurts.  Well, she proved me wrong.  The other day I caught her running to the train in 4 inch heels.  How do women run, stand, strut, in heels for long periods of time? And I for one want to see what her feet look like naked.  

For the past several weeks, I have been conducting a survey in hopes of turning it into a blog post.  I have been asking random men if they would rather be tall and bald or short with a full head of hair.  Tall is defined as 6 ft or more.  Short is defined as 5'8" or less.  So far, 100 % of the men I asked claim they would rather be tall and bald.  

REALLY? 

My next question will be for the ladies.  Would you rather be with a man who is tall and bald, or short with a full head of hair?   

I think TALL is overrated.  I would pick a man with hair any day! But all the important men in my life have been 5'8 or under.  And I love running my fingers through a man's hair.    

I am a member of a Secret Tea Party and it's a blast.  No...Tea Party is not code for anything.  A tea party is exactly that - a TEA PARTY!  Initially, we kept it secret so that people who weren't invited would not feel left out but its evolved into so much more then that.  By keeping it a secret we can share our deepest secrets and our secrets are juicy good!

If I change everyone's names and the location I can tell you about it.  So far, there are 6 random women in our group.  None of us have anything in common other than once sharing a ...... (hmmm... too much information) lets just say, we have nothing in common and we are learning about each other as we go along.  Our last tea party was Saturday.  I have not had that much fun in very, very long time.  No alcohol was involved.  We didn't need it.  Food was involved.  It was delicious!  And yes, there was plenty of tea.    

Well, thats it for today dear friends.  I'm heading into the city, I'm late, and its gorgeous out! Think I might treat myself to a pair of big girl shoes, my favorite crab cakes and a glass of chardonnay.    

Cheers!  Shannon

To link in your Random thoughts click HERE