Wednesday, October 19, 2011

BOLD Choices



All choices lead you somewhere.  Bold choices take you where you're supposed to be.   
Wisdom courtesy of Jim Beam.  


On this particular evening, my wisdom came from french martinis (vodka, chambord, pineapple juice) and oaky chardonnay.

BOLD CHOICE NUMBER ONE

During last weekends playdate with friends - a ruckus that included the rally at Time Square and an Irish Pub crawl - I thought it might be fun to take a pedicab ride back to Grand Central.

BOLD CHOICE NUMBER TWO

Because we were three and a pedicab holds two, I chose to squat and balance on the connecting, center shaft of the pedicab while we whirled down 6th Avenue.


BOLD CHOICE NUMBER THREE

Because I'm security conscious, I zipped my handbag shut prior to take off.

Because of this precaution, when the pedicab swerved right and my purse fell off, its contents stayed in place.

I, however, did not.

I followed my purse, to the ground.

I rolled with it, until I got caught up under it (pedicab), and then dragged for a bit.

The details are a bit blurry.  All I can tell you for certain is that I smiled during the entire ordeal, and that my head never hit the ground.

I can also tell you the width of a pedicab.  It measures from the bottom of my shoulder blades to the lower part of my thighs (evident by the tire marks).

And here is an important bit of advice... if you are ever in a situation where your friend is falling out of a pedicab - the correct word to use is STOP.

For fucks sake do NOT yell, "Don't run over the Monkey!"  This will only confuse the driver, especially if English is his second language.

BOLD CHOICE NUMBER FOUR

Had I remained sober the outcome of my Shannonigans could have been disastrous.

We all know it's hard to roll when you're frozen in fear.  By keeping myself well lubricated/inebriated, not only did I roll with it, I kept my toes pointed and had jazz hands.


In a split second, I made the BOLD choice to roll under the pedicab, as opposed to out, into oncoming traffic.

I also calculated (without the use of my iphone), the exact weight of both my friends (must get lighter friends), PLUS the weight of the pedicab, and determined that if I could avoid the important body parts such as (sing it with me) head, shoulders, knee's and toes, knees and toes.... I would probably survive.

And guess what, it's true, it's true - I am alive!  Nothing is broken and I got an entertaining blog post out of it. (see the great lengths I go through to gain and maintain readers)

There is one very sad revelation that came out of all this. 

I've lost my shock value.

When I first reported this story to family and friends I clearly stated...

"I fell out of a pedicab, got run over by it, and dragged by it"  

Here are some of their responses:

Daughter Lindsay:  When do we leave for New Orleans?

Daughter-in-law Mary:  Might be time to detox.

Miss Pegged:  You know, if I was there it would have been me.

Boris (Russian friend who invented pajama jeans):  I made great guacamole for football game.

Supervisor Phil:  Reminds me of that song, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer..."

Total lack of sympathy!

The only person who reacted appropriately was husband, Mark - probably because he was able to see my injuries (including a nasty brush-burn on my back and a swollen coxic bone)

Husband:  This is how people die Dear.  Don't do that again.

Wise advice.

Lets see where tomorrows bold choices will take me.



Robin and Rose with our pedicab driver

(evidence of my disheveled state - exposed sweater label)

Not only did we NOT report him, we tipped him.

Because we need to own our choices

especially, MonkeYme



For those of you who might decide to take a pedicab ride:

NEW YORK CITY DEPARTMENT OF CONSUMER AFFAIRS
42 Broadway | New York, NY 10004 | nyc.gov/consumers
PEDICAB ACCIDENT REPORT
If a pedicab accident occurs and someone is killed or is injured and requires medical treatment, the pedicab driver must immediately: 1) call 911 to report the accident or report the accident to the police officer on the scene or at the nearest police station AND 2) notify the pedicab business owner. Immediately upon notification, the pedicab business owner must: 1) confirm with the pedicab driver that the accident has been reported to the police AND 2) notify the Department of Consumer Affairs about the time and location of the accident and any death or injuries requiring medical treatment. Call (212) 487-8768 OR fax notification to (718) 935-6516 OR e-mail accidentreports@dca.nyc.gov. The pedicab driver must give his/her name, address, and information about liability insurance coverage to any person sustaining physical injury or property damage in a pedicab accident.
Whether or not an accident involved death or injury, within 24 hours after the accident, submit this form to the Department of Consumer Affairs using the fax or e-mail information above. This form must be signed by both the pedicab business owner (or his or her agent) and the pedicab driver involved in the accident.


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36 comments:

  1. Lol, quirky funny post. I enjoyed it much:)

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  2. It all happened so fast, the only thing I can attest to are the jazz hands....

    MG

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  3. hahaha what good is the form to you if your dead. Oh the choices we make, fun post.

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  4. Sounds like quite a harrowing ordeal! It's experiences like that, that keep life interesting.

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  5. Oh, I laughed. Jazz hands! Glad you're alright. It actually does help to be drunk when having accidents like that. I know someone who survived a 30 foot fall with a few bruises because he was drunk.

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  6. Oh my god, that was insanely funny! And thanks to Supervisor Phil, I now have that song stuck in my head. I hate that song!

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  7. Mark, Pat, Mike, Christine - NEW followers! thanks for following, reading and appreciating my quirkiness!

    MG, despite the injury, I had blast!

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  8. So... did it leave a scar?

    Cuz if it did that'd be cool. Scars are just like tattoos, but with better stories.

    :)

    So glad you're OK. Duck and weave next time, and ALWAYS away from traffic. :)

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  9. Julianna, its too soon to tell but I'm pretty sure the brush burn on my back will become a permanent scar and I soooo agree!!!! Scars tell a far better story! (as always)I like the way you think.

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  10. Mercurial - I can't tell supervisor Phil - it will go to his head. I also didn't tell you what I texted him back after his clever little reindeer song ... "you're fired" ( and waited 5 minutes before texting "just kidding")

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  11. Funny but scary story Shannon....glad you had a buzz on to shield your injuries a bit! And your formal NYC official ending cracked me up!

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  12. You are out of control in a good way. LOL Glad you are ok.

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  13. THANKS Cameezie! still moving slowly. very, very slowly

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  14. That must have been hard for you to read Jeff - you being a avid cyclist. :) Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  15. ROFL, I guess you had to prove the point, "Alcohol does numb the pain." :) But I sure hope the pain is not too bad nor does it last too long.
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  16. Jules... for me it would be RO6AL. I won't lie, its day 4 and the bruised ego lingers.

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  17. Holy shit and shineola! That takes the cake, girlfriend. I've got nothing to top it -- and I hope it stays that way. So glad it was only your ego that was damaged. I think there's probably a reason it seats only two. ;)

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  18. Oy vey. I'm glad you're okay! I rode one of those for a few years, and I would NOT have let someone ride there. I've ridden up to 6 people on a cab. I rode hard, and fast, even getting up on 2 wheels at times, and no one ever got hurt.

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  19. Aaah you are funny Shannon. And I think this is genius writing because the message is loud and clear and I don't think I'll ever forget your advise before making my choices in life.

    Trishaws in New York City! Soon the Tuk-tuks will join in.

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  20. hmmmm..... who is "Anonymous"???? Jesse...is that you?

    Jayne, I'm convinced half the stuff that happens to me is so I have something to write about. If only I knew how to write fiction!

    Honey B - love seeing your name here. I'm fine, sort of.

    Oceangirl - THANK YOU! :))))) monkey beaming ....

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  21. ok first of all. I'm glad you are ok, but omg, that is hilarious. I always miss the good stuff.

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  22. Ha ha ha! Sorry to laugh at your pain, but that was hilarious! This is my favorite line: "For fucks sake do NOT yell, "Don't run over the Monkey!" Ha! Hope you're feeling better!

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  23. did the exposed tag on you sweater say "Jaqueline Smith for K-Mart????"
    lol you crazy girl!!

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  24. Thanks Dazee! It would have been worse if I experience it, wrote it, and nobody smiled. So glad you liked it.

    Marty ~ your so loyal to me. Thank you!

    And you Anonymous's are tough to figure out. I know you know me in the flesh... but who are you?

    Thank you everyone! Your comments are kicking "friends and family's" ass!

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  25. OMG. I fell two weeks ago and am still working up the...courage or whatever...to post about it. How did your head not hit the street? Whenever I fall my head is like a bowling ball; I can't stop it. Anyway, I feel your pain, but for f*ck's sake don't do that again, you hear?

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  26. I believe it was the jazz hands that saved you. What would we do without jazz hands... ;)

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  27. Of course, the jazz hands - you are too funny! And I can totally see Mark saying that!

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  28. No more Pedi mani's, I can drag you around if you want!

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  29. Whew! That was some ride. Hope your injuries heal soon. But thanks for sharing this adventure. I've always enjoyed walking and now I don't think I'll ever take a pedi-cab.

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  30. Stick with pedicures! Seriously, you are SO lucky to not have been run over by all that 6th Avenue traffic. Damn! I'm glad you're okay!

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  31. LOVE this story and am still smiling - mostly because you weren't seriously injured, of course. But the part about the jazz hands almost made me spit out my coffee.

    One of my friends owns a pedi-cab business in Provincetown, MA and he tells great stories about stuff that happens...

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  32. I would so totally do this. Although now that you've done it, I probably won't.

    I'm glad you're okay (except the roadburn and coccyx ... nothing, absolutely nothing involving the coccyx is fun).

    Also, I loved both Supervisor's and Husband's answers.

    And finally, this also makes me think: we are really, really not our parents. My ex-m-i-l would never, ever have done this. (She was a lovely lady, but she never, ever would have done this.)

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  33. I loved that line too: "For fucks sake, don't run over the Monkey!" LOL! and of course you did Jazz Hands. Any self-respecting flaming baton twirling, trapeze swinging Monkey would automatically do them. That's how you rolled!!! tee hee!
    Happy you're not too banged up. Feel better soon!
    Love, DB

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  34. The best Times Square pub, bar, restaurant and carvery in Irish area. All men and women are most welcome in the moment or for hours where they can get generous drink.

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Thank you for encouraging my JOY of writing. By reading and commenting you are feeding my soul, stroking my heart, and in the end...making me a better writer.

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing

Thank You For Encouraging My Joy of Writing
greenmonkeytales@live.com

Shannon E. Kennedy

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Photo by Joan Harrison