I had a wonderful time in New Orleans but there were several things about home that I missed - my bed, the sound of our waterfall, my grandson, our cat, writing.
I love the whimsical journey my mind takes me on when I write. Love reading other bloggers. You all feel so real to me. Some of you I know better than family. Some of you make me cry, others make me laugh. All of you command my respect.
Before I can start writing I have to unpack, do laundry, and get organized. And most important, I have to clear out the useless clutter in my mind. First on my list was the pizza box stain.
I loved your responses. Guess I'm part of the creative norm - I too saw poodle playing the trumpet. I've also been asking friends, family members and strangers. My grandson Jackson (a pizza freak), could not get beyond the lack of pizza. He wanted to know what kind of pizza it was, if it was any good, if we ate the crust, and if we could order pizza when he comes over on Thursday. When I pushed him for an answer he said, "pizza, I see lots of pizza...different sizes of pizza...and pepperoni...some of the pepperoni is falling off the pizza."
My husbands response was predictable. He saw the Ferrari logo.
My 87 year old father, who isn't sure who I am, said,"it's a sheep jumping."
Then added, very matter of fact, "and he pissed all over the box."
MORE QUESTIONS ROLLING AROUND IN MY HEAD
Not too long ago, I asked men if they'd rather be tall and bald, or short with a full head of hair. Every single one of them answered tall and bald. Who knew men were so predictable? Certainly not me.
Well, I have another question. This came up after watching a late night infomercial.
MEN: If there was a pill that would increase your penis size, with guaranteed results, would you take it?
More about the pill: It's expensive - $159.99 for a one month supply.
The side effects are unknown.
Once you stop taking it, you go back to your normal size.
I'm guessing most would take the BIG PENIS pill.
How important is the penis to the male ego?
And is there such a thing as too big?
I'm so glad I don't have a penis. Sure, it must be fun to pee standing up, but I would never want to be judged by an appendage.
I know what you're thinking, women are judged by our breasts. But breasts are different. Not every woman wants large breasts.
If there was a pill that would increase my breast size I would NOT take it. Even if it were free.
HOWEVER, I would take a pill if it would make my hair thicker and more luxurious. Not sure what that says about me - vain, insecure, predictable?
What about you...
What is your fantasy pill?
For only $159.99 per month you can grow, lose, have, become...
Guaranteed to fulfill your wildest dreams
Only 1 order per household
Call while supplies last
(now I'm wondering how much spam this post will generate)
Nothing if the side-effects are unknown. I'll stay as I am. Remove that one? Perfect teeth. I'm in the midst of major dental work. I'd pay a great deal for perfect teeth. Oh wait, I guess I AM doing that. :P
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't take it, it reminds me of a Ron Jeremy informercial I saw on TV a while back that gave me the creeps. I took my fantasy pill years ago, it was mescaline and had a wonderful time!
ReplyDeleteHaha I can smell the spam trickling in already... I'm glad I wasn't the only one who saw a horse in the grease tho.
ReplyDeleteOh...how about one month of a deliriously happy attitude? (ahem...this is my brain, this is my brain on perfectly legal fantasy happy pills) Although it would feel like a real slap upside the head to return to myself :-/
ReplyDeleteMy husbands ego is too big for him to even think he needs that pill.
ReplyDeleteA pill that cures bitchiness would make my whole household a happier place. LOL!!
not to put pressure on everyone, but your interactions with my questions are highly entertaining! you're all so very, very clever. where you clever before you started blogging, commenting, facebooking, etc... or have you always been clever?
ReplyDeleteI would also like to say that I feel fortunate (or dimwitted) to have only initially considered "thicker hair" as my fantasy. Now that I've had time to think about it... I want a pill that allows me to win the lottery. Or, no, wait...... I want a pill that forces me to complete my best selling novel, which turns into a screenplay, and I get to pick the lead actress (Sandra Bullock). hmmm... so far, can't go any deeper.
love your list of things you missed!
ReplyDeletepill? hair, thin, youth, $$$
SO predictable, Cloudi
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
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I would do what I always do when faced with soooo much choice. Freeze, and not choose anything.
ReplyDeleteOh I so enjoyed your writing, and your family :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I look in the mirror, I see a beauty and I wonder if she will just grow to waste. (I know I am a bummer, but that is the anti-fantasy that clutters my mind at the moment).
A fantasy pill.... Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteI would like a pill that would allow all the boys in my life to see things as I do. To see that the piles of stuff everywhere need to be picked up and put away, the trash needs to go out, and the odd smell in the bathroom means the fan needs to be turned on and a can of Lysol whoop a$$ must be unleashed.
But the side effect of this pill can not include a woman like sensitivity, because if they get any more whinny I will have to bitch slap them.
Penis pill? No. However if there was a pill that made me do something profitable or for the greater good, say furthered my scientific research towards the cure for cancer then yeah I'd take that.
ReplyDeleteI'm fascinated by all of the comments. I would buy the pill if it showed me maybe a small snapshot of the future. Or can we get this now....
ReplyDeleteI'd go for an immortal pill. $160 per month seems like a good deal for that.
ReplyDeleteRats. Hit post before signing. The immortal pill was from the Shadow Moose.
ReplyDeleteMultiple orgasms.
ReplyDeleteMG
OMG, your father cracked me up! Penis pill... I think a few women have secretly taken this. Just yesterday I followed a woman who thought she could stand pee.
ReplyDeleteFantasy pill, hum..?! Can we say solar power in lieu of batteries. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
okay Jules.... tell me more.... you followed a woman who thought she could stand pee? if you go solar power, you can't hide your toys! just saying~
ReplyDeleteMG ~ good answer, you get an A+
and Shadow, I'm glad you told me, I would have never guessed!
Gryt, I was going to go for the cancer pill, but I knew someone more mindful would step up and take charge. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHmm, I already take the anti-bitchiness, anti-depression magic pill. So my fantasy pill would be one that prevents little skin cancers from cropping up here and there. I only get the slow-growing kind that rarely kill anyone, but they are a bother to deal with. And staying out of the sun now doesn't help; I'm pretty sure these are all payoff for being in the sun 20-30 years ago.
ReplyDeleteYou know, there ARE pills that make you feel like you have everything you want. Problem is they are habit forming. Be careful what you wish for.
ReplyDeleteI would take the first 3 months of pills the first day, then see what happened, I think I would be the winner!
ReplyDelete