It took close to two hours for them to complete their "inspection."
I insisted Miss Pegged not be present. I had no idea how ugly it was going to get and I didn't want her to see me grovel, plead or cry.
They arrived on time with a strict directive - inspect EVERYTHING.
As I mentioned in my last post, never in the 52 year history of the company has their been an inspection, let alone a surprise inspection.
Is my state issued license clearly displayed on the wall?
Do all guards have a current security guard license?
Are all guards registered with the State of Connecticut?
Have all necessary forms, photo's, fingerprints, and fees been submitted?
Was the State notified of all terminated employees within 5 days of their termination?
? ? ? ? ? ?
Am I a master procrastinator? YES
Am I methodical and well organized? NO
Am I capable of policing myself? NO
....and this is why I have Miss Pegged. She's brilliant like that.
Did I pass their directives with flying colors? YES
Thank you Miss Pegged.
Once that was complete, my guard uniforms were inspected to make certain they were in compliance with State regulations. THEY WERE
Then each employee's personal folder was inspected to make certain it included a copy of their guards card, drivers license, social security card and a completed I-9 form. THEY DID
I was asked to supply a copy of my company polices, guidelines, and specific post orders.
EVERYTHING was not only in order, but surpassed the standards. I am "the example of how a first rate security company should be run."
Was I carrying my security license - a card that proves I am a professional in good standing with the State and the federal government?
Why, yes YES I AM!
Every two years I am asked to submit the proper paper work, fees, fingerprints and a current photo. After review, I am issued this card...
Wait... there is a problem.
Is that a current photo?
Well...no. I've been resubmitting the same photo for the past 12 years.
Well...there is a fine for that.
Wonder if there would be a fine if I submitted this photo?
Am I annoyed by this? ABSOLUTELY NOT
It could have been a lot worse. Had I not hired Miss Pegged I would have been in serious trouble.
On the eve of my inspection Miss Pegged mindfully neglected to inform me that the penalties associated with not following the States directives is up to a year in prison and no more than a $5,000 fine.
The only positive outcome of a year in jail would be that I most certainly would have completed my book. Well, as long as Miss Pegged was policing me.
And speaking of books, I'm way behind in my daily word count and is it just me or has everyone except ME published a book? Even the kitties beat me to it.
And those clever kitty's have even developed an APP for that.
What a wonderful gift he gave me. Carrying on the family legacy, proudly, is very is important to me. I also appreciate the simple fact that I am an excellent judge of character.
After a well deserved lunch, I informed Miss Pegged that no matter what, I'm taking her with me. If its kittywigs we're making, she's in charge of putting the wigs on the kitties or collecting fur balls for the REAL kittycat hair collection.
And because you "can't con a con man" I'm certain this pretty kitty is NOT a natural blond.
WANT MORE KITTY CAT?
Here is a heartwarming tale of a cat's insatiable lust for proactive dancing.
Special Thanks to Jesse Fowler for planting the kittywig seed in my head.
And Jelly Jessicali for leading me to the kitty dance.