Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I am the Turkey



I have a mother.  Her name is Joan.

My mother married a man named Leonard. They had a daughter. They named her Lenore.

My mother married another man, his name was Lawrence. They had one son and two daughters. They named them Kerry, Colleen and Shannon.

Kerry died shortly after his birth. My mother did not go to his funeral.

My mother lived with a man long enough that it was considered common law. They had a son. They named him Mark.

I called my mother today, on the eve of Thanksgiving. I called her today because tomorrow is all about football. My mother loves football. I love football.

My mother lives in Vermont.
My sister Lenore lives in Vermont.
My sister Colleen lives in Vermont.
My brother Mark lives in Connecticut.
I live in Connecticut.

Today when I called my mother, I asked her if she was cooking.
My mother is not cooking.
My mother is going to Mark's house.
My sister Lenore is going to Mark's house.
My sister Colleen is going to Mark's house.
Everyone is going to Mark's house.
But me.

Today, on the eve of Thanksgiving, my mother let it slip that Mark lives in Vermont.
Where and when did Mark move to Vermont?
My mother will not tell me.

My mothers family will be together on Thanksgiving.

And I am now, finally, astutely aware that I am on my own.


My mother did not go to my son's funeral.  
My mother will tell you, "I don't go to funerals."


 They won't see this because they don't read me.
And you will never hear me speak of them again.




24 comments:

  1. you and I are both the outcasts of the family it seems. good for US!


    Aloha from Honolulu

    Comfort Spiral

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  2. Family either sucks or comes through!And also, your are with the people that will make you happy! Cheers!

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  3. I'll be your sister your mother your friend your tent mate your burning man buddy till the day we both are no more. Your family ultimately is made up of the people who accept you no matter what, who love and support you and cheer you on when you feel like you can't do it (whatever "it" is) anymore. You have many who love appreciate accept adore you. Don't forget that.

    xoxoxoxo

    MG

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  4. My heart feels for you. That is just not right. We have never met, because I'm not real, but you are my family. That you can bank on.

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  5. Whoops, that last one is from Sam

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  6. That is so sad. I just want to give you a big hug.

    I do hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. Remember there are those of us out here who love and appreciate you.

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  7. monkey gurl couldn't have said it any better!! Love you Shanny!!!

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  8. Oh, Shannon, I can feel the sting all the way over here in Minnesota. Sorry. I hope Thanksgiving brings you some peace and comfort and winning football.

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  9. I decided a long time ago that life isn't like a film. There is no closure, no explanation. This is why I consider only certain members of my family to be just that. Why do I want to have people in my life who make me feel bad? That said, I'm sorry Shannon, I know it hurts sometimes.

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  10. Don't know if this is any help but I learned yesterday my wife is planning on spending next Christmas with her family up in Richmond. I so abhor by sister-in-law and bother-in-law I am already planning ways to stay down here in South Carolina alone rather than travel with my wife and kids up north.

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  11. I second Monkey Gurl's comments, except with the male counterparts (save "husband" as Mark's doing a fantastic job. He's broken records with you!)

    I also respectfully disagree with what Sarah said... your life will make a damn good film. As soon as you finish writing it. And posts like these--while gut-wrenching--will make it so fascinating to read.

    Count me in as family. I'll be home for Sunday football!

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  12. Family has nothing to do with DNA.

    I am sure of it.

    Enjoy your day with the ones who actually matter.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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  13. This makes me very sad. I'm glad that you can write about it and not bury it deep inside of yourself. Continue to put yourself out there and know that you are loved.

    your marble buddy

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  14. Oh Shannon, I'm sorry ;( but families aren't perfect( you should see mine) they are human, they make mistakes and some people lack the ability to put others first, but you have your own family now, and friends that love you, K.C. and I send you love!
    P.S. I did not know know Kerry was named after your brother ;(

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  15. I feel your pain. Remember what they say you can chose your friends but not your family. I found, even though it hurts profusely, sometimes it is better to just cut the ties and let things be.

    I hope you with your true loved ones today.

    Hugs!!!

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  16. smiles, this is so cute. And you love your mother, and you love your brother, and you love your sister, they all live in Vermont.

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  17. typically, I don't like to paint myself as "poor me." I'm all better today. Looking forward instead of through the rearview mirror. THANK YOU ALL! XOXOMONKEYME

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  18. This is sad. But I know you have many friends, your own family now, and you can survive loss. Still, my heart is with you as this large wound heals.

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  19. Hang in there, Shannon, sometimes it's best to just enjoy your own company.

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  20. There are ties stronger than blood...
    Which is a good thing...
    I like to think I have better judgment than my genes do.

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  21. Trust me, I'm with you on this.

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  22. Mark has two daughters who lived in Connecticut, which he has not seen in 9 years, now that he is in Vermont Im guessing he will never see them. The apple didn't fall too far from the tree with Joan and Mark. You are a truly inspirational woman Shannon!

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  23. there is no excuse for that Rose. NONE...... ZERO!!!!!!!! Nope, don't want to hear it... NONE and anyone who defends that is ... lost

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Shannon E. Kennedy

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Photo by Joan Harrison